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Fanfic Story: Just Can't Live A Lie
(I'm posting my greys anatomy fanfic story: Just can't live a lie, here. I have 26 chapters, and I'm posting the first chapter to see if you guys like it. You will find some spelling and grammar errors and I'm sorry for that!
Tell me if you want me to post more...It's a Merder fic, but I don't really know where it takes place, but I hope you enjoy it anyway)
Title: Just Can’t Live a Lie
Name of Chapter: Someone's Missing
Chief, finally he was chief, chief of surgery, Derek Shepherd. He was proud. He’d made it, made it to the top. But one thing was still missing. He knew what it was, he knew it very well. He should be happy, now as he had reach his goal.
But he wasn’t, and hadn’t been in a long while. For a small person to be, she could fill a big part of his heart. Her smile made him smile even when he had a bad day. Her hair always smelled so good and…”Chief, we need you down stairs.” He looked confused up from the table he had stared at for a long while now.
“On my way,” he said and where already on his way out of the door and on his way down to the first floor. He wasn’t used to be called chief. Richard Webber had always been the chief at Seattle Grace as long as Derek could remember. Now he had moved to Europe with his wife leaving Derek again in Seattle with the hospital. Derek took a deep breath before opening the door to the Emergency.
“Can someone tell me what the hell happened?” Derek said with a loud voice. A nurse came headed to him.
“Chief, there has been an accident at Mercy West and all the emergency patients have been transferred to Seattle Grace...”
Before she could finish Derek interrupted her. ”WHAT? How the hell does the chief of Mercy West think that we can to the job without more nurses, and doctors?” He was frustrated and angry.
“Chief, Mercy West has sent residents and nurses to Seattle Grace, and they are here any minute.” Derek took a deep breath again before he nodded. “Fine, tell them to hurry up, we have a lot to do here.” Derek hurried up to Burke who was on his way with a bleeding patient. “Burke, I need an update.”
Burke looked up. “Okay, the two patients over there needs surgery, and the rest need to be stitched up, three people with safe head injuries, one needs brain surgery, one needs a consult, and one is code blue already taken care of.” Burke pushed his glasses on spot before Derek continued.
“Alright, Burke to OR 1 with Dr. Stevens. Karev takes the suturing. O’Malley takes the consult, and Yang you come with me. You’re scrubbing in at the brain surgery.” In a hurry the doctors were on their way. “Dr Shepherd which OR?”
Derek looked at his pager. “OR 2, Dr. Yang. Get ready to scrub in along with an intern from Mercy West; I’ll be back in a minute.” Cristina nodded. ”Got it.”
Derek ran down the hall to the nurse station, to guide the doctors who had come from Mercy West. “Okay, Dr. Chang to OR 1 with Dr. Burke. Dr. Hemmer, to the EM. Dr…” Derek got speechless. There in front of him, she stood. Meredith, Meredith Grey. She had transferred to Mercy West just a couple of month earlier.
She had told him she needed some space, to clear her head, and now she was back at Seattle Grace. “Umm, Dr.Grey you’re with me at OR 2.” She stared at him for a moment, not sure what to say. “Oh, okay Dr. Shepherd. Got it.”
Derek watched her leaving before turning to the rest of the group. “Okay the rest of interns and doctors goes to see where they might need someone. Nurses, Fallon to room 2435, Hayes room 4137, Darren, 1236, Dubbin 5238. Alright, move people.” Derek headed to OR 2, getting ready to pull out a blood plug in a man’s right part of brain. This was one of the very busy days at Seattle Grace not to dimension the patients from Mercy West.
The surgery was over, the patient had died. Derek could still hear it.
“Dr. Grey, call it please.” She had looked at him. “Time of death; 11.53.” He knew she hated to call, but she had done it anyway. Now he sat at his office, the chief office. He couldn’t read her. Meredith had nodded to him a couple of times, but that was it. The people from Mercy West were supposed to leave in 15 minutes, and that meant that Meredith would leave too. Suddenly someone knocked on the door.
“Come in,” Derek answered. Slowly the door went up, and his eyes met Meredith’s. “Hi, can I speak with you for a moment?” He nodded as she went further into the room. “Sit down.” She did as he said, and took a seat.
She took a deep breath before she started.
“I have thought about this in a long time now. About us.” Derek felt nervous, thinking about what she would say next. “And I’m done Derek, I can’t take it more. I can’t stay away from you, but I can’t face you either.” They were both silent for a second, before Derek spoke.“You remember the day we went to the sea? When you had a red top on, and we sat around the fire until the sun where down? That evening I knew. I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted you, Meredith.” It went awkward silent. Derek looked at her. She didn’t seem to be sad, or happy, nothing.
“Derek. I, I have to go now. I and the other nurses and doctors are going back to Mercy West in 7 minutes. I can’t be late. I have to go.” She stood up and walked toward the door. Her feelings were just a mess. She wanted Derek, but she couldn’t go back to him. She wasn’t ready, and she didn’t know if she would ever be ready. “Mer, wait. What will happen, to us? Will I see you again soon?” He also stood now.
“Maybe Derek, maybe,” was all she could say.
Outside Seattle Grace there were taxies waiting for them. All the other doctors had taken a seat in deferent’s taxies, and she was on her way to on of them before she suddenly changed her mind. She didn’t want to go back to Mercy West. Not at all. She liked Seattle Grace, she liked Seattle. She knew there was another reason too. She knew it, but she didn’t like the feeling inside her. She hated telling her selves that she was in love. In love with him. If she could just stop loving him everything would be much easier. But she couldn’t. She was trapped in him.
She just stood there watching the taxies drive away. She wanted to go away from him, but she didn’t do it anyway. Why, she told her selves over and over. Why can’t I just drive away from him? To another city? Why? She knew the answer but she didn’t want to face it. I can’t love him, I just can’t!
Derek still satin his office. He was thinking about her, all the time. Since she had left him first time, and now again and she never said anything about their relation ship. If she would ever return to him, or if she didn’t wanted to be with him.
He didn’t know why she didn’t want to stay with him. Did she have another boyfriend? As fast as he had thought about the last sentence, he pulled it away. She didn’t have another boyfriend. He knew it. If she did he would have seen it in her eyes. Guilt, sadness or happiness. But her eyes had been all empty.
He shook his head as he went out of his office, the chief of surgery’s office.
Dr. Shepherd the brilliant Nero surgeon was happy about being chief, but Derek wasn’t. In the past Derek and Dr. Shepherd had become to different persons, with to different goals and to different ways of thinking. It was frustrating. Derek walked over the “bridge” at the second floor of the hospital,and then he saw her.
She just stood there with her back toward the hospital, so Derek couldn’t see her face. Several of questions were running trough his head. Why was she still there? Had she missed the taxi? But why hadn’t she called after another one?
Suddenly she falled to the ground, and Derek could see blood streaming from her left arm!
(A/N: Like it or not? Want me to continue? Tell me...)
(A/N:okay so here's chapter 2. Hope you like it.)
Title: Just Can’t Live a Lie
Name of Chapter: The Hardest Thing
(Suddenly she passed out, falling to the ground, and Derek could she the blood streaming from her arm.)
Derek wide opens his eyes. Meredith, she was hurt, her left arm was bleeding, and now she had passed out. Without thinking about anything else he stormed to the stairs, and couldn’t get down and out to her fast enough.
“Mer, Meredith, can you hear me?”
Derek ran toward her. The bleeding was from a gun shot. He could see the bullet. She didn’t respond. He sat down next to her, finding her pulse. He got relieved when he found it, but it was feeble.
“Mer, Mer,” damn it, he thought. Who had did this to her? He left her up in his hands any carried her inside. He needed to get a CT scan of her arm. Her hand may have invisible injuries, and it may be some nerve damage.
She was bleeding a lot, and Derek had to stop the bleeding before he could do something. “Can somebody get a nurse over here?”
Right now, he was glad to be chief.
“Somebody page Dr. Burke, and get an OR for me, NOW.”
Somebody had hurt Meredith, his Meredith. He got her a bed, and laid her down. He wrapped some towels around her bleeding scar.
“Get her some air, and get a stabile pulse people.”
Derek stood looking at her, as the nurses fixed her.
“Dr Shepherd you paged me?” Burke came into the room.
”Yes, Dr. Burke its Meredith. She’s been shot. I need you to take a look at the bleeding.” “Meredith Grey? She’s been shot in her left arm?”
Burke went toward Meredith to take a look.
“Oh, Derek, she has lost a lot of blood.”
“Yeh I know that,” Derek yelled.
“I have an OR ready.” A nurse came into the room.
“Chief, Dr Shepherd here’s the X-ray picture and the CT scan for you.”
Derek grabbed it out of her hands.
“Dr.Burke, how’s she doing?”
“She’s stabile for now, but we need an OR now Dr. Shepherd.”
“The nerves in her left hand are not good, and the CT scan shows two broken bones, and the bullet is stuck under the central nerve.”
Derek sight. What if she never got her arm function back? What if something happened and she died?
“Derek, lets go, the OR is ready for us.”
Derek and Burke got ready to the surgery.
“Derek I know this is tuff for you. You love her right?” Derek looked at him. “Yeh, I do love her. But I don’t know if she still loves me.”
“Derek, she will be okay, you’re one of best Nero surgeon in the country.”
Derek putted his scrub hat on and headed to the OR. “Let’s go save her hand, Dr. Shepherd,”Burke said and followed Derek into the OR where Meredith laid ready on the table.
“Damn it. The bulled is stuck, I can’t get it out. I need the clutch. Dr. Burke, how’s her pulse.”
“Stabile for now, but the bulled needs go get out before she bleeds to….” Burke didn’t wanted to say the word dead.
“Before she loose too much blood.”
“Damn it I know that. A dose MCR, 3mm cVP.”
“Heart rhythm 80 over 60, Dr Shepherd, where loosing her pulse.”
Derek sweated. What if he didn’t have the bullet out? What if she died? NO, NO he couldn’t think like that. She was going to be just fine.
“Give the plot.” Derek finally got the bullet out.
“Okay, Dr. Burke your turn.”
Burke went to stay where Derek had just stood. It didn’t go too long before the heart rhythm and the pulse where back to normal.
“Dr Shepherd, you okay?” Burke turned to face Derek.
“I need a moment; I have just pulled a bullet out of my friend.” Derek didn’t want to say girlfriend, because he didn’t know if she still was his girlfriend, but he loved her.
“Yes, of course Dr Shepherd. She's stabile and were almost done now.”
Derek went closer the table where Meredith lay.
“Now we just have to see if she has hand function. And we wont know before she wakes up,” Derek said with sadness in his voice.
Meredith had almost died. He had almost killed her. He didn’t know who had done this, and why. He didn’t know and it made him angry.
He shouldn’t have let her go away again. If he had just persuaded her to stay it wouldn’t have happened. Would she have arm function? Would her arm be lam? He couldn't hold back more, and the tears came. He loved her, so much. Who had done this to her? She didn't deserve it, she deserved to be happy. He looked at her; she was beautiful. Her tiny body and her eyes, her hair and her smile. He went to her bed side, stroke her over her cheek.
"I..." He paused before he continued. " I love you Meredith, and I will never let anyone hurt you again."
Derek took her hand in his, waiting, waiting for her to wake up!
(Still want me to continue? Let me know...)
(Okay, here's chapter 3. Still let me know what you think...anyway hope you like it)
Title: Just Can’t Live a Lie
Name of Chapter: The Emotional Time
Meredith finally opened her eyes. Were where she? What had happened?
“That was about time, you have been sleeping for hours.” Cristina stood in front of her.
“Cristina? What happened why am I in a hospital bed? Cristina what’s going on” Cristina looked weird at her. “You don’t remember?”
Meredith stared at her. “Remember what?”
Cristina took a seat in a chair beside the bed.
“Well, you got shot outside the hospital, and you had surgery.”
Meredith considered it for a moment. Now she remembered it. She had stood outside Seattle Grace not wanting to go back to Mercy West, not know what to do, and then this man from earlier had showed up. He had offered to have a drink with her, and she had said no and then... oh my goodness, he had shot her in the arm, telling her…she froze.
“Meredith, heelloo are you heeree? Cristina tried to get eye contact with her.
“You’re really weird, you know. After you transferred to Mercy West you have been so…so, I don’t know. Different.”
Meredith didn’t say anything, she just starred at her left hand.
“Can you move it?” Cristina said exited.
“I, I don’t know, I haven’t tried yet.” Cristina was impatient.
“So try, I wanna know if you can move it.” Meredith looked at her arm again.
It was bandaged so she couldn’t see the scar. “I think I’ll wait with that part.” Meredith looked away; she could still heat the man’s voice in her head.
“Hey sweet heart, you remember me? We went to high school together. I saw you at Mercy west, but don’t you live in Seattle?” Meredith froze thinking about his name. “I know things didn’t worked so well between us, but what do you say, let’s try again. Let me by you a drink.” He had still been gloomy and evil, and his eyes when she had told him she didn’t wanted to, when he had pulled out the gun and…no, no she didn’t want to think about him.
Cristina’s pager went off. “Damn it gotta go. One of the nurse paged 911. See you later.”
Cristina stormed to the door almost running Derek down.
“Oh sorry Dr Shepherd, chief.”
Derek nodded to Cristina as she went. Derek stepped into Meredith’s room.
“Hi,” he said turning to her bed.
“Hi,” she said back not meeting his eyes.
“So, we have operated your left arm after a…the bulled were stuck in your central nerve, and we tried to take it out without doing more damage to the nerve. Burke stopped the bleeding and we think the nerve is okay, but only you can tell us for sure.”
Meredith nodded, turning to look at her arm. “I, I haven’t tried to move it yet,” she said nervously.
“Okay, well will you try now?” Derek sat down at the same chair Cristina had sat in, just a minute ago. Derek looked at her. She was shaking. He could see it her eyes. There was something on her mind, something she didn’t liked at all. “Mer, did you see the person who shot you? Do you know him or her?”
Meredith made eye contact with Derek.
“Yes I saw him, but I, I have never...” Meredith didn’t want to tell Derek about him. That she knew him. That they had dated, that he had, hurt her. He had hit her and, and…Her eyes filled with tears. He had been using her, many times over many months, and no one had ever known about it.
She hadn’t told anyone. It was almost ten yeas ago now, and when she had seen him at Mercy west she had avoided him. And now he had followed her to Seattle, after seeing her along with the other doctors taking the helicopter to SGH.
“Meredith, you can tell me, about him? I know you knew this guy, I can see it in your eyes. It’s not good memories you have from him, is it?”
Meredith couldn’t speak. She just nodded.
“Well, tell me when you’re ready okay? Now you have to try moving your hand.”
He spoke softly to her. He took his hand into hers.
“Can you try to squeeze my finger?”
Her whole hand was covered with bandage, beyond her fingers. “Ookay,” she replied nervously.
She focused just about squeezing his finger, and slowly she gripped his finger, it wasn’t a hard squeeze, but it was a squeeze anyway. “You did it,” Derek said relived. “I have function in my left hand, Derek?” She looked at him, and met his eyes for the first time after he had come into her room.
“Yes, yes you have Meredith. Your hand will be just as normal again in some weeks.” Derek smiled looking at her.
She smiled back. She hadn’t smiled in weeks. After she had leaved Seattle she hadn’t been happy at all. She had just missed her friends and the hospital, and him. She had missed Derek too. Missed his Mcdreamy smile, and his soft voice. She had missed him because she loved him. Before the shot she hadn’t ever loved him so much. He had saved her hand. Her ability to ever use her left hand, her carrier. “Derek.” Derek smiled to her. “Yes Meredith?”
“I, I just want to…to thank you. For saving my hand.”
Derek looked her deep into her eyes.
“Nothing to thanks me for. I just did my job, as a surgeon chief, and…” He paused. “And boyfriend, if you still want me to be your…boyfriend.” It went silent in the room. Meredith just looked at Derek. She didn’t answer the question, she just stared at him.
“I…I love you Mer, and I have always loved you. But do you still love me?”
Again it went silent. Meredith was just about to say something when someone knocked on the door.
“Meredith, can we come in?” It was Izzie, and George, and Alex.
“Oh, um yeh of course, come in.” The three entered and Derek stood up, ready to leave. “I will come back and check on you later.” Meredith nodded, and turned to her friends who had just entered. “Hey, so how are you doing? I mean after the…I must have been...” Izzie looked at George with a “what the hell are you thinking” look. “Oh we were just stopping by to see how you’re doing. Is your arm okay?”
“Can you move it?” Alex interrupted Izzie. Meredith smiled.
“Yeh, I’m fine, and yes I can move my hand. Derek, um Dr Shepherd says it will be just normal in a couple of weeks, and then I will transfer to Seattle Grace again I think.”
The three of the looked surprised at her. Izzie was the first to speak.
“Oh how wonderful, I mean with your arm and it will be great having you back. I kind of missed you when you were at Mercy west and...”
George gave Izzie a push before he continued. “Yeh that’s fantastic, well it will be nice having you back at the hospital.” Alex pager went of, and just a second later the others went off to.
“Oh crap, it’s Mr. Duff, he probably needs water, again,” Alex said moving to the door. “Yeh we need to go too,” Izzie and George said. “We will stop by later okay?”
“Yeh see you.”
When they had left she lay down, and closed her eyes. Right now she didn’t want to think about anything at all. Right now she just wanted to listen to the rain outside. She had missed Seattle and the rain.
And soon after she fell asleep!
(Okay, got some replies from you guys. So now I will update regular. Here's chapter 4. Enjoy: )
Title: Just Can’t Live a Lie
Name of chapter:All the pain he has made
“Dr Grey, you are discharged, and can go home now. Just remember not to use your hand until the wound has healed, and that may take a week. No water on it, and try everyday to move your fingers.”
Meredith nodded. She knew it all, she was a doctor but she just let the nurse go trough the discharger papers anyway. It was afternoon, and the clock was 5.30pm.
“Okay do you have ride home? You can’t drive in two months you know.” Derek said coming into her room.
“Well no, but Cristina can maybe drive me…”
Derek interrupted her. “She’s in surgery now, but I’ll drive you.”
Before she got a chance to say something more, Derek gave her his jacked. She didn’t have a jacked at the hospital and since the jacked she had wear was still covered in blood after the gun shot.
They went together down the stairs and headed to Derek’s car.
“But are you sure you can leave, you know since you’re the chief and…”
And again Derek interrupted her.
“Well since I am the chief I can decide that.”
He smiled open the door to the passenger seat for her.
The drive home was silent. None of them spoke until Derek finally said something.
“So do you want to tell me about this guy who shot you now?”
He looked at her. She didn’t look at him.
“I have missed you Derek,” she finally whispered.
Derek could see that she was about to cry.
I have missed you too,” he said softly as he took her hand.
“Do you remember when you told me that you were always gonna show up?”
Meredith said, looking at him. He nodded.
“You didn’t. Four days before I left Seattle and transferred to Mercy west, you told me that you were coming over at the evening, but you didn’t.”
She looked away, didn’t wanted to meet his eyes. He just nodded. He didn’t know what to say, she was right. He hadn’t always showed up when he had said he would. Derek stopped the car at Meredith’s house. Meredith stepped out, and Derek was driving to the hospital again.
On his way back to Seattle Grace he changes his mind and drove back to Meredith’s house again. He had a feeling that something was wrong. He parked the car at the other side of her house, and headed to the front door when he heard voices inside.
“You shot me, Tyler, and, and…” It was Meredith, talking to a guy named Tyler.
Derek envisages it was the guy who had shot her. Now he heard that she cried.
“Please Tyler, just, just leave, please…” He heard a glass went to the floor, and broke in pieces.
“Damn it Meredith, I’m not going to leave until you come with me. We had a relation ship Meredith. Don’t you dare trying to say something else. It’s not over between us. I know you still love me,” he said with a low voice so she barley heard it.
Meredith sobbed now. “I, I can’t Tyler, my job is here, and I can’t quit. We can’t go back together, It, it won’t work out Tyler, you know that.”
What?” she said and the sobbing stopped for a moment.
” Then….” he said again laughed now.
“I will come back, soon. I will find a way to make you come with me, trust me,” he said going toward the door. She ran after him.
”Tyler please…” Just as he opened the door, he turned around and hit her in her face. “Shut up before I use my gun again. Next time I will shoot you in your head, you moron.”
Derek had hided behind a tree, and as fast as Tyler was gone, he jumped forth and ran inside the house. He found Meredith sitting at the floor, sobbing as she tried to breathe normally.
“Mer, Meredith.” Derek pulled his arms around her, pulling her up, and holding her tight.
“He, he’s the guy…”Meredith started. “I know Mer, I know.”
After she had her pulse back at normal level, he pulled her away so he could see her in the eyes.
“He hit you, Meredith. Has he hit you before?” Meredith looked at him, and tears welted up in her eyes again.
“Okay, okay,” Derek said comfort her again.
She felt safe in his strong hands. She didn’t want to speak to Derek right now. She wanted to be alone, but she knew he would be back soon, and she was scared. For the first time after she had seen him again, she was scared. Not that he would hit her, or hurt her. No, because she was afraid he wouldn’t leave, that he would bring her back to Boston, and that he would never let go of her.
That he would hurt her friends, or somebody else because of her. Because she didn’t wanted to come with him.
Derek lifted her up in his arms carry her up stairs to the bathroom.
“Derek, no I can do it by my selves.” Derek looked at her. He nodded, as he gave her a look before he went down th stairs to the first floor.
Derek’s head was a big mess. He put his hands on his head. He had to do something for her. This Tyler would come back and hurt her again, and the last time she had almost lost the hand function, her ability to ever use her left hand. What would he do next time? No, no he couldn’t let anything happen to her, not again. He had to protect her.
Derek went out the main door. It was silent, and it was start getting dark now. He looked at his watch. Almost 10.00pm. Maybe he should stay at Meredith’s house for the night. Just thinking about that the guy, Tyler may show up again, made him angry. He walked around Meredith’s house sometimes making sure there was no one there, and to clear his head.
At the bathroom, Meredith was finish with her shower. It had felt good with the hot shower. It had made her thinking about something else. Still she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go back with Derek. She loved him, and everything, but she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready to tell him how she felt, about her and Tyler, and her once love to him.
She had loved Tyler, a long time ago. They had planning to get married in the future. Everything had been nice until he one day came to her house, and told her he wanted to get married that evening. She had of course said that it was too early, that they were too young. He had got angry, and from that day he had hit her every time he got a little bit angry, and when she had said she wanted to break up with him, he had used her, many times.
Tears felled down her check. She loved Derek so much, but she was so afraid he would do the same thing Tyler had done. The night he hadn’t showed up she had gotten the same feeling she had got when Tyler one night had promised to take her out for dinner, and he had got drunk instead, letting her wait in a week before taking contact again.
That had been the first time Tyler had ever disappointed her, and she thought Derek had done the same, so she had transferred to Mercy West some days after when Derek hadn’t called. Of course Derek was not like Tyler at all. Derek was kind, sweet, handsome, and did always comfort her if she needed it. But he had made a promise to her, just like Tyler had did, and he had done the same thing as Tyler. Not showing up, not calling to tell he couldn’t and not contacting her in days.
She hadn’t feelings for Tyler anymore; she hadn’t had since she had finally left Boston ten years ago, moving back to Seattle. Now she hated him. How could he come back to screw her life again. When she had left him, he had done so much damage as he could do to her. She had been having a hard time with all the memories from him. She had finally started to heal, and then she showed up, again.
Once more he was going to screw her, and her life.
Once more she was going through the same, and maybe it would be worse this time, maybe he this time wouldn’t let her go!
(Posting chapter 5 tomorrow. Tell me what you think by leaving a comment or sending me a message!)
(Okay, here's chapter 5 for those of you who have been waiting for it: )
Title: Just Can’t Live a Lie
Name of Chapter: When Anger Becomes Love
When Derek came up to Meredith’s room she had felt asleep. He went over to the bed, and sat down beside the sleeping Meredith.“I’m sorry Mer. I’m sorry that I didn’t always show up when I said I would. I promise it won’t happen again, I promise I won’t leave you, and I promise to protect you.”
He bent down and kissed her check.
“I’m sorry,” was the last thing he said before he went down to the kitchen. No one was home. Izzie and George were on call the whole night and Derek wouldn’t let Meredith be there alone. He was going to sleep at the couch, but before he lay down he went outside to see it this Tyler had come back.
There was no one outside so he went inside again, and soon after he fell asleep at the couch.
He woke up soon after he had felt asleep. He heard sobbing from upstairs.
His heart pumped more as he ran up to her room. Was she hurt, had Tyler come back?
As he entrée the room he didn’t see Meredith anywhere. Then he saw the light was on in the bathroom.
“Mer, Meredith is you in there?” Derek called.
When he didn’t get an answer he moved toward the door, and slowly opened it.
When he entered the bathroom, he saw Meredith sitting at the floor with a box and a letter in her lap. She was crying, and her eyes were red.
Derek sat down next to her, holding her tight.
“Mer, what happened, what is it in the box? Who gave it to you?”
Meredith sobbed now.
“I, I can’t, can’t tell you,” she whispered, as she still cried.
“Mer, you can tell me, you know you can,” Derek said stroking her over her check.
“NO, no I can’t,” she said as she stand up and ran to her bedroom.
As she slammed the door shut to her room, she unlocked the box again. It was a picture of her and Tyler, 12 years ago. At the picture they were kissing. She read the letter once more time.
To my M
Love is hard filled with anger
Love is a rose who never die
Love is faith and true and you
Love keeps us together
Forever and ever
I know you love me
I know you do
Don’t try to run
Cause I’ll come after you
PS! Ferry, Friday 11.00pm, meet me alone!
The last sentence was stuck in her head. Ferry Friday, was the word they had always used. It was like a holiday for them.
Don’t try to run, cause I’ll come after you
A tear streamed down her check. What was she going to do? Meet him? Forget it?
In the box it was something more too. It was a rose a red rose Tyler always buyed to her when he felt sorry for something he had done. It was his way to tell her he regret and didn't mean what he had done.
Earlier Derek wanted to call the police. Tyler had shoot her in her arm, and he would be arrested, but Meredith had told him not to. Tyler wouldn’t stop just because of the police. And one more thing, she didn’t wanted something bad to happen to him. She knew he didn’t shoot her on purpose.
He did threaten her often about that he would shoot her if she did something, but he had never done it before outside the hospital at Seattle Grace. She knew him well, and she knew he felt sorry for it. He just loved her, but she didn’t love him anymore. She loved Derek. After all he had done to her, she couldn’t, and she just couldn’t be with him anymore. They had been best friends in so many years. She had to meet him, explain it on a way he would understand. Yes he had used her, and hit her, but in her heart, she knew he just did it because he didn’t want her to leave, and he didn’t have anyone else.
How could she forgive him, she said to her selves, he had hurt her, and yet she felt sorry for him.
Poor Derek, he did his best, and she cared about the man who had shot her. She would explain everything to Derek, when it was the right time, but right now she had to take care of some past. And she knew she was the only one person who could fix it, not the police, not Derek or any of her friends, but she, Meredith. This she had to do alone, and she actually felt ready, ready to tell Tyler. She had to make up for the mess in the past before she could go on with the future. And Tyler, was the past!
Meredith putted the stuff in the box again. The letter she laid on her bedside table. Tomorrow she was going to meet Tyler, and she hadn’t been more ready in her whole life to meet him and tell him, tell him everything.
Derek hadn’t slept much the night before. He had thought about Meredith all the time.
But with Tyler he didn’t know what to do, cause Meredith wouldn’t let him call the police, and didn’t wanted him to do anything with Tyler.
Meredith came into the kitchen where Derek sat and drank coffee.
“Morning,” she said without looking at him.
“Morning,” Derek said back.
It was silent a moment before Meredith started.
“Derek, I’m sorry. I can’t tell you anything now, but I promise I will one day.”
She took a seat beside him.
“Well, that day is it going to be soon, or do I have to wait forever?”
Derek was kind of angry at her. He only wanted to help her, but she was so stubborn.
“Derek. Listen. I don’t love Tyler, and I’m not going to let him do anything, but you have to understand. He was my best friend for years. When I was little my mother was never there, but he was. We went to kinder garden together, we went to high school together and we were neighbors back in Boston. He was my only friend and the only one who cared about me; I have to explain it to him. I have to tell him everything or he will never understand and never let go of me, and I have to do it alone.”
Meredith took a deep breath.
“I’m going to meet him tonight, and I promise if I would have decided I would bring you, but I’m not the one who decides, not this time.”
Derek didn’t say anything, he just nodded surprised.
“I’m going to work now,Cristina is picking me up but I’ll see you there okay?” Meredith went to the door.
“Yeh,” was all Derek could say.
Meredith dissappeard out the door.
He was speechless.
The only word in his head right now was Tyler, Tyler, and Tyler.
(Not much merder here, but it will come...Tell what you think. And what was the best chapter so far???)
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