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WARNING! Will never happen in real Grey's Anatomy!!

(George is sitting in the hallway by himself; Izzie comes up and sits next to him. Callie is walking down the hallway to get medication for a patient when she sees Izzie and George talking. She hides behind the wall to listen)
Izzie: George.
George: Maybe it was a mistake, maybe you're not pregnant, sometimes those tests aren't reliable and..
Izzie: George I'm pregnant. And you're the father
George: But Callie is pregnant! My wife is pregnant!
Izzie: I'm sorry.
George: AND on top of everything else, I declined the chief's offer to finish as a surgical resident at the end of the year with you guys. I DECLINED IT! HOW STUPID AM I!?!
(Izzie puts her hand on his shoulder)
Izzie: You're not stupid George, you're human.
(George looks over at Izzie and touches her face)
George: I'm sorry
Izzie: I know
(Callie has tears in her eyes, then slowly backs up and runs into the bathroom to cry)

(Bailey goes into the bathroom where she hears someone crying)
Bailey: Hello? Who's in here?
Callie: It's, *sniff* me.
Bailey: Callie? Why are you crying?
Callie: My, my husbannnd, chhheated on, on me! (Starts crying hysterically)
Bailey: Oh Callie, I'm so sorry
(Callie comes out of the stall)
Callie (wipes away tears): You know what's funny?
Bailey: What?
Callie: I'm jealous of you. I've always been. You have the PERFECT family. A husband who loves you, a kid that's adorable, you have it all!
Bailey: I don't have it all, and I've been jealous of you lately
Callie: Bailey, I would give up chief resident to have a husband that loves me and cares for me. I would give ANYTHING for that. I love my job, but I love George more. And, he doesn't love me.
Bailey: Don't say that
Callie: He loves Izzie Stevens. But, I knew that all along. I just didn't think he would go as far as cheating! (wipes away more tears) Bailey, hold on to your family, because in an instant, you could lose them, and everything you ever believed in.
(Callie walks out of the bathroom leaving Bailey speechless)

(Derek is sitting in the cafeteria by himself when he sees Thatcher sitting down with Molly. Molly gets a phone call)
Molly: Sorry, dad got to go!
Thatcher: Why?
Molly: The baby has the flu and my mother in law can't stand runny noses!
Thatcher (smiles): Okay then, call me later
Molly: I will (kisses Thatcher on the cheek) I love you dad
Thatcher: Love you too
(Molly leaves. Then Derek walks up and sits down next to Thatcher)
Thatcher: What are you doing here?
Derek: I should be asking you the same question.
Thatcher: I'm here for Lexie.
Derek: (pauses) You know, you're no different than Ellis
Thatcher: Don't you dare compare me to Ellis!
Derek: She broke Meredith. You broke Meredith. She has no one, do you have any idea how that feels! And on top of that, you humiliated her in public, and accused her of your wife's death! She didn't kill Susan. She was beginning to love Susan. In fact, Susan was the only family she had!
Thatcher: Susan was all I had!
Derek: I know that, but you still have your daughters. You still have Lexie, Molly, and even Meredith. They all love you
Thatcher: Meredith doesn't love me
Derek: Yes she does. You might not love her, but she sure as hell loves you! You're her father,start act like one!

(Meredith is sitting in the closet by herself)
Meredith: Okay, it's okay it's just Thatcher. He's not a monster (pauses) okay, yeah he is a monster, but I can't sit in here and hide like a baby. I'm 27 years old and I can face him. I can totally face him.
(Cristina comes in)
Cristina: Talking to yourself again?
Mer: Stalking me again?
Cristina: Yep, have you seen O'Malley? Callie O'Malley?
Mer: Nope
Cristina: Well of course you haven't your sitting by yourself in a closet. Why are you sitting in a closet?
Mer: Hiding from the monster.
(Cristina has a confused look on her face)
Mer: Thatcher
Cristina: Oh I see
Mer: Why are you sitting in the closet with me?
Cristina: I need a surgery
Mer: And hiding in the closet with me is not going to get you one
Cristina: Well agreeing to marry Burke didn't get me him so I'm taking my chances
Mer: Cristina'
Cristina: Okay, Mer the last thing I need is sympathy
Mer: Sorry
Cristina: Am I going to be alone the rest of my life?
Mer: No, you got me

(Lexie is sitting at the nurses station doing charts when Derek comesup)
Lexie: Oh hey you!
Der: NO flirting, NO kissing, NO anything that involves you with me.
Lexie: Look I'm really sorry about that, I know you are dating Meredith.
Der: Exactly and now she's mad at me because of you!
Lexie: Aww poor thing
Der: What's your problem?
Lexie: Uhm. HER! She killed my mother, she destroyed my father, and she...
Lexie: What is that supposed to me?!
Der: You and your dad have NO idea who she is. NONE! So you shut up about her!
(Derek storms off leaving Lexie alone)

(Meredith is walking in the halls when Derek comes up)
Derek: Hey
Mer: I got paged, can't talk
Der: Mer, please just listen
Mer: I don't want to
(Derek grabs her arm)
Derek: Meredith, I would never cheat on you! I would never hurt you; I would never do anything to make you feel alone.
Mer (sighs): I know, I know, it's just Lexie is young and sexy and smart and all the things you would want in a girl! And I'm just scared that you will forget about me.
Der: How could I ever forget about you? (Touches her cheek) And to me, you are 10 times sexier than Lexie.
(Mer smiles)
Der: Don't be scared about that because I'm always going to be here for you, whenever you need me.
(Meredith leans in and kisses Derek, Derek kisses back)
Derek: Wow
Mer: Now whose kiss was better: mine or Lexie's?
(Derek leans in and kisses her again)
Der: Yours by far!

(Mer and Alex are sitting in the locker room silent and alone)
Alex: What are we gonna tell Cristina?
Mer: I don't know
Alex (pauses): You really want to know what happened with Ava and I?
Mer: Yea, I do
Alex (sighs): Her husband showed up. He was pissed, I mean I would be to if my wife just took off and left
Mer: She didn't tell her husband she was leaving him?
Alex: No. So I ended it. I mean what's the point of trying to start a relationship with someone who isn't ready to leave her old life?
Mer (pauses): You've really grown up Alex
Alex (smiles): What? I wasn't a grown up before
Mer (laughs): You know what I mean, you matured.
(Alex smiles back at mer. They stare at each other for a little bit not sure what to do next. Then, Alex starts to lean in to kiss mer. Right before the kiss the interns come into the locker room)

Bill: That was the hardest hour of my life!
Annie: Ugh, I smell horrible!
(The interns see Mer and Alex)
Lexie: Oh, sorry are we interrupting something?
Alex: Uh, no we were just...
Mer: Leaving, yeah we were uhm, leaving
Alex: Right
(Mer and Alex walk out of the locker room VERY nervous. Lexie watches them go and smiles to herself)
Alex: Oh my God, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to lean in like that
Mer: Oh no, you didn't do anything
Alex: No seriously, I'm uh really sorry
Mer: Uhm yeah, it's fine, really it is
Alex: Uh okay well I'm going to uhm go
Mer: Yeah, go, that's fine
Alex: Right. Okay so I'll see you at home?
Mer: Yeah
Alex: Okay. Uhm, well, bye
(Alex turns around and walks away. Mer puts her hands on her head and sighs deeply. Then she walks away in the opposite direction)

Mer V.O: So like I said, life is messy. Life hits you when you least expect it (Cristina is coming out of surgery, Mer runs up to her)
Cristina: Oh hey, have you seen Izzie?
Mer: Cristina
Cristina: What?
Mer: It's Burke
Cristina: What about him?
Mer (pauses): He got into an accident
(Cristina's face turns white)
Mer V.O: Life is tough, but believe me, love is even tougher
(Callie is sitting on her bed, George comes in)
George: Hey, I got some groceries if you want to.
Callie: I know, George
George: Know what?
Callie: You and Izzie
Mer V.O: Love is confusing
(Alex is sitting at Joes)
Joe: Rough day?
Alex: I think I have feelings for Meredith Grey
Mer V.O: Love is difficult
(Meredith and Derek are walking out of the hospital together)
Derek: I think we should move in together
(Meredith stops and stares at Derek)
Mer V.O: So if you think about it, love and life are the same. You can't control it, and you can't stop it. All you can do is wait, and see what happens next...

Episode 3


Mer V.O: Jealousy, rage, secrets, lies, mistakes. EVERYONE does them! They are unavoidable. As surgeons, if we make one mistake a person dies, we lose a life. When we make mistakes as human beings, we have to suffer the consequences. And sometimes, the consequences, is what drives us to make the bigger mistakes.
(Callie is at the hospital, George comes up to her)
George: Callie.
(Callie ignores him)
George: Are you going to ignore me forever?
Callie: yes
George: Come on! That's not fair!
(Callie walks away and George puts his hands on his head)

(Derek is coming out of surgery. A tall, thin pretty girl walks out of the elevator. Derek sees her)
Derek (mutters under his breathe): Oh my God!
Girl: Derek?! Oh my God is that YOU!
Derek: Hi Kathleen
(Kathleen comes up to Derek and hugs him)
Derek: What are you doing here?
Kathy: What? I'm not allowed to see my little brother?
Derek: You should've called
Kathy: HEY! You should be happy I'm here! I mean look at you! (Starts smoothing out his hair) Ugh! You need to tame that thing!
Derek: Why are you really here?
Kathy: Well mom sent me.
Derek: Of course
Kathy: Derek, she's worried about you! You haven't called, and she's pissed that you divorced Addison!
Derek: Again, of course
Kathy: Be nice, she's coming!
Derek: WHAT!?
Kathy: I got an earlier flight; she'll be here around 5ish
Kathy: Yeah, what's the big deal?
Kathy: She'll barley be talking to you! She wants to see Addison
Derek: Oh really? Well Addison isn't here! She transferred to la!
Kathy: LA?!
Derek: YEA!
Kathy: Oh well then good luck, where's the coffee machine? I need a pick me up!
(Kathy leaves, Derek sighs deeply then shakes his head)

(Cristina is filling out a chart when Meredith comes up to her)
Meredith: Hey, how-
Cristina: Burke's fine. Callie is doing surgery on him now
Meredith: I meant you.
Cristina: I'm fine
Meredith: You sure?
Cristina: Yeah, of course
Meredith: Okay cause if you weren't, you could always come and tell me.
Cristina: I get it Mer
Meredith: So do you want to hear my pathetic love life?
Cristina: Well it can't get worst than mine, so shoot!
Meredith: Okay, well Derek thinks we should move in together!!!!
Cristina (laughs): Where!? The house full of roommates or the trailer in the middle of nowhere
Meredith: EXACTLY!
Cristina: So is that the only reason why you won't move in with him?
Meredith: Uh, of course!
Cristina (sarcastically): Suurreee
Meredith: IT IS!!!
Cristina: Right
Meredith: I'M SERIOUS!!!!
Cristina: Don't worry, I'll find the skeletons in your closet eventually
Meredith: No you won't, because I'm skeleton-less
Cristina: Meredith Grey? Skeleton-less? NEVER!

(izzie is sitting in the waiting room eating a cookie, Mark comes up and sits next to her)
Mark: Hey
Izzie: Hi
Mark: So, another rainy day in Seattle
Izzie: Yep
Mark: So what's new?
Izzie: Don't you have a surgery or something?
Mark: Ouch
Izzie: Sorry, I'm in a bad mood.
Mark: I am to
Izzie: Why?
Mark: Life is sucky
Izzie: You got that right!
Mark (pauses): How about I take you out to dinner tonight? We can maybe talk about how sucky life is
Izzie: Thanks, but I don't think so.
Mark: Why not?
Izzie: Because life is sucky
(Izzie gets up and leaves Mark. Mark gets a page.)
Mark (looking at the page): Oh my God!

(Alex is sitting in the hallway, Bailey comes up)
Alex: Thhhhhinnnnkiiingggg
Bailey: Alex? Are you okay?
Alex: Totallllyyy
Bailey: ARE YOU DRUNK!?!
Alex: Kinddda, sorttta??
Alex: I don't know. I just found something out
Bailey: Which is?
Alex: My dad is in the hospital

(Kathy is walking in the halls reading a magazine when she spots Mark)
Kathy: Well, well well if it isn't Mark Sloan
Mark (smiles): Kathy Finnegan? What are you doing here!?
Kathy: It's Shepherd actually, I got a divorce. Don't tell Derek or my mom though, its hush hush.
Mark: My lips are sealed.
Kathy: So what is your hot booty doing in Seattle?
Mark: Well I came out here for Addison
Kathy: Who I heard is in LA!?!
Mark: Yep.
Kathy: Wow, good for her!
Mark: Yeah
Kathy: So, how are you and Derek?
Mark: We're getting better
Kathy: That's good
Mark: Yeah I guess, but what is YOUR hot booty doing here in Seattle?
Kathy (smiles): My mom is coming
Kathy: Yep
Mark: I just got a page from my mom, she's flying in from New York.
Kathy: OH MY GOSH!!!! I am SOOO making dinner!!! Me, you, Derek, mom, and Lisa!
Mark: And don't forget Derek's girlfriend
Kathy: Derek's girlfriend? What are-OH!!!! Nancy told me about her! What's her name again?
Mark: Meredith
Kathy: I cannot believe I forgot about her! Nancy is gonna want me to do LOTS and LOTS of snooping for her.
Mark (laughs): Why isn't she here?
Kathy (leans in and whispers): DO NOT tell Derek this, but she's pregnant!
Mark: Wow! You Shepherd's have lots of secrets!
Kathy (smiles): What can I say? We're one of a kind!
Mark (laughs): Oh yeah you are (kisses her on the cheek) But I'm in for dinner!
Kathy: Great! Is 6 okay with you?
Mark: Well I probably have plans, but I think I can squeeze you in! I mean anything for you!
Kathy (laughs): You haven't changed a bit! Still the hot, flirty ass we all love!
Mark: That's me! (Winks at her)

(Bailey knocks on the chief's door)
Chief: COME IN!
(Bailey enters)
Bailey: Chief we have a situation
Chief: Yes?
Bailey: You know the John Doe that just came in? He was supposedly the drunk driver that hit Burke?
Chief: Yes
Bailey: That's Alex Karev's father.

(George is sitting in the closet by himself, Callie comes in)
George: I'm sorry
Callie: what?
George: I'm sorry. I've been a jerk. a BIG jerk. I never wanted to hurt you, because i love you Callie. I do love you. As much as I act like I don't, I do. And yea, I cheated on you. I betrayed you, and I am deeply sorry for that. I'm sorry Callie.
(Callie has tears in her eyes)
Callie (starts laughing): that is the corniest thing I've ever heard!
(George laughs but then looks Callie in the eye)
Callie: But it worked...

(Meredith is in the elevator, Derek comes in)
Mer: Hey
Der: Hey, how's Burke?
Mer: He's doing really well, Callie just finished surgery on him about an hour ago
Der: Good, and Cristina?
Mer: She's fine too.
Der (pauses): Listen, I sorta kinda agreed that me, you, Sloan, Sloan's mom Lisa, my mom, and my sister Kathleen would have dinner tonight.
(Meredith bursts out laughing until she sees the look on Derek's face)
Mer: Oh my God, your serious?!
Der: Well , your gonna have to meet them eventually
Mer: right, but i didn't think eventually would be tonight!
Der: Don't worry, you'll be fine (Derek kisses her then gets out of the elevator)
Mer (to herself): I SOOO won't be fine.

(Meredith is filling out a chart at the nurses station when mark comes up)
Mer: So, I heard you are also going to be at the Brady Bunch dinner...
Mark: Yep
Mer: Any advice?
Mark: don't talk about Addison. they LOVED her and if you talk about her, then your out. Also, talk about the Yankees.
Mer: Yankees?
mark: You don't know who the Yankees are?!
mark: Right, you don't care about new york sports...well, they are a baseball team, they have a good record, and the shepherd's love them!
Mer: Okay so no Addison, talk about Yankees, and thats it?
Mark: pretty much
Mer: Okay, got it.
Mark (pauses): Is that Izzie Stevens girl your friend?
Mer: She's my roommate
Mark: Oh, really?
Mer: yeah, why?
Mark: She's...attractive
(mer stares at mark)
Mer: Ohhh no
Mark: no what?
Mer: You are not getting with Izzie Stevens!
Mark: Why?
Mer: Cause Izzie is a sensitive girl and your mark!
Mark: I changed
Mark: I gave you the Brady bunch advice! Can you just put in a good word for me? Mer (hesitates): FINE!
Mark: Thanks, see you tonight!
Mer: Yeah, yeah...see you tonight.

(Alex is sitting in the chief's office)
Chief: Alex...
(Alex does nothing)
Chief: Alex?!
Alex: Yeah...
Chief: I've talked to doctor Bailey, and we both think it will be best if you take the day off. Your father is in the ICU, and you could spend time with him today
Alex: I don't want to spend time with him. I want to work. I don't want to be thinking of my father.
Chief (hesitates): Are you sure?
Alex: Is Burke okay?
Chief: Yes. He is doing very well.
Alex: Then yes sir, I'm sure
(Alex gets up and leaves)

(Alex is coming out of the chief's office when he bumps into mer)
Alex: Oh, sorry...
Mer: No it's fine
(They stare at each other for a little bit)
Alex: Well i should get going-
Mer: I heard about your father. I'm so sorry
Alex: Yeah, well whatever
Mer: You weren't close with him?
Alex: No, not at all
Mer: Well, we are more alike than I think we are.
(Alex smiles)
Alex: Listen, I'm really sorry about last week.
Mer: Oh no, you didn't do anything. It just...
Alex: Happened.
Mer: Yeah, it just happened.
Alex: Yeah and you have Derek...and he's a great guy
(Mer nods her head)
Mer: Yeah, he is...
Alex: Alright well I better go
Mer: Go, I'll see you later
Alex: See you
(Mer watches Alex leave and sighs)

(Derek is walking down the hall, Lexie comes up)
Lexie: Hey stranger...haven't seen you all week!
Derek: Lexie! What did I-
Lexie: I know, I know. No talking, no flirting, no anything that involves you with me.
Derek: Good
(Derek starts to walk away)
Lexie: That doesn't mean you need to ignore me!
Derek: Yeah, it does.
(Derek leaves, Lexie watches him go)

(George is sitting in the hall, Izzie comes up)
Izzie: Hey
George: Oh, hi
Izzie: Did you talk to the chief?
George: Yeah, he let me take him back on his offer
Izzie: So you get to be a resident?
George: Well I have to be an intern for a little while and work hard, then i can finish as a resident with you guys...
Izzie: Wow, George thats great!
(Izzie hugs George, George pulls away)
Izzie: Are you okay?
George: Izzie...
Izzie (pauses): Oh, your staying with Callie.
George: I love her. She's my wife and I love her
Izzie (fighting back tears): Right, of course...
George: Izzie, I'm sorry
Izzie: No, go...go be with your wife. She loves you and you love her. its perfect
(George squeezes Izzie's hand then sadly walks away. Izzie watches him go then cries)

(Izzie sees mark, then grabs his hand and pushes him into a storage closet)
Mark: Whoa what's gotten into you?
Izzie: I'll have dinner with you tonight
Mark: You will?
Izzie: Yeah...
Mark: oh, well I already have plans tonight...with my mom and some other people
Izzie: Oh, tomorrow then?
Mark: Uh...sure?
Izzie: Great. But here are the rules.
Mark: Rules?
Izzie: The restaurant has to have boatloads of liquor, and i mean BOATLOADS. You are paying, and you have to look hot!
Mark (smiles): Don't I always?
Izzie: Just pick me up at 8.
Mark: Wait, you have to hear MY rules.
Izzie: YOU have rules?
Mark: Every bachelor has rules
Izzie (smiles) Fine, go...
Mark: YOU have to look hot. Your hair has to be down, and you have to show your legs.
Izzie: Seriously?
(Mark looks Izzie up and down)
Mark: Seriously.
(Mark smiles at Izzie then walks out of the storage closet. Izzie smiles to herself as mark leaves)

(Derek and Meredith are in their room getting ready)
Mer (to herself): No Addison, Yankees: good baseball team, New York, and good record. Good baseball team, New York, and good record
Derek: What are you doing?
Mer: Good baseball team- I am trying to prepare myself!
Derek: For what?
Derek: And Sloan's mom
Mer: AND Sloan's mom!! Okay, I need names
Derek: Names?
Mer: Of your SISTER and MOTHER.
Derek: Oh right, my mom's name is Carol. And my sister's name is Kathleen. But, you can just call her Kathy. And Sloan's mom is Lisa.
Mer: Carol, Kathy, and Lisa. Got it!
Derek: Quit stressing, you'll be fine
Mer: And if I'm not?
Derek: They are just my family. They don't bite!
Mer: Are you sure about that?
Derek (smiles): Yes (kisses her) I am sure. They're gonna love you! Trust me
Mer: The last time I did that your wife showed up
(Derek gives her a look)
Mer: Sorry, sorry I'm just nervous!
Derek: Don't be. You're going to be FINE. Now, let's go,my mom hates it when we're late!
(Derek leaves)
Mer (under her breathe): I wonder if that's the only thing she hates.

(Callie is walking down the hall when she bumps into Izzie)
Izzie: Oh hi
(Callie ignores her and just keeps walking)
Izzie: Okay then
(Izzie starts walking then cautiously turns into the OBGYN room)
Izzie: Hello? Anyone here?
Guy/OBGYN: Yes?
Izzie: Oh, sorry I thought this was the OBGYN room, I'll be leaving
Guy/OBGYN: It is
Izzie: Oh, really? Cause you're a-
Guy/OBGYN: Guy? Yeah, I know (smiles then puts out his hand) I'm Daniel. Daniel Foster.
Izzie: Hi, I'm Izzie Stevens
Dan: Did you have a question?
Izzie: Uhhh, no?
Dan: Are you sure?
Izzie: Uhm, Dan, can I call you Dan?
Dan: Of course
Izzie: Okay, well Dan, can you keep a secret?
Dan: I think so
Izzie: Okay (shuts the door) I'm pregnant
Dan: You're pregnant?
Izzie: Yeah, and I wanted to get some things checked out.
Dan: Right. Well, we'll have to do a more complex test.
Izzie: What?
Dan: Well, I want to make sure you're really pregnant
Izzie: I took the pregnancy test, I am pregnant!
Dan: Well sometimes those things aren't that reliable
Izzie: So you want me to do your test now?
Dan: That would be great, I'll be right back. I just have to grab some stuff then we will get started
(Dan leaves)
Izzie (muttering to herself): Oh boy, another hot one in Seattle

(Derek and Meredith are outside Kathy's hotel room door)
Der: Okay, ready?
Mer: Ugh, I don't really have a choice
Der: Right, well you'll do fine
Mer: Yeah, totally. I'll totally be fine
(Derek knocks on the door. An old, but attractive woman opens it)
Derek: Hey mom
Carol: OH MY GOD!!! DEREK!!!! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN SO LONG!!! COME TO MOMMY! (Carol hugs Derek. Derek gives Mer a save me! look, Mer just smiles)
Carol: And who are you?
Mer: I'm Meredith Grey.
Carol: Oh right, THAT girl
Mer: Excuse me
Carol: We'll talk later, let's go inside. (turns to Derek) Your sister made a wonderful dinner!
Der: That's great mom, we'll be right there
Carol: What? Where are you going?
Der: Uh, we just wanted to talk alone.
Carol: Why? Why can't you say it in front of your mommy?!
Carol (rolls her eyes): Alright, alright. NO going in the bedrooms, got it!
Der: OH MY GOD, MOM GO!!!!
Carol: I'm leaving, I'm leaving
(Carol leaves)
Mer: Well, that was interesting.

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