(Another page for the fanfic story. read and enjoy!!And always tell me what you think: )

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“What?” Cristina said, still looking shocked at Meredith’s finger.
“He proposed,” Meredith said once more.
“Who proposed?” Izzie came up to them.
“Derek proposed, and you said yes?” Izzie took Meredith’s hand to look at the ring.
“I told you, they’re just like egg and bacon. Can’t stay away from each other, and…”
Meredith looked weird at her two friends. “Why are you always talking about egg and bacon?” Cristina shook her head. “I don’t.”

“So, was it romantic?” Izzie said still looking at her ring. “Yes, I mean we were at the needle and he even remembered my birthday…” Cristina and Izzie looked at her before they looked at each other. “You forgot Mer’s birthday? Cristina?”

“I forgot? You forgot too and…” Izzie interrupted her. “Yes, but you’re her best friend and you’re supposed to know…” Meredith shook her head. “Izzie, Cristina please stop it. None of you could know cause I have never told you, okay?” Izzie and Cristina stopped. “So when are you getting married?” Izzie said looking exited. “Seriously, Iz. We are going to take it slow, and we’re going to wait until I’m finish with the internship.”

“Mer, your engaged?” George came up to them. “Dude, Shep finally proposed,” Alex said coming to their table. “Just the matter of time before the whole hospital knows,” Cristina said eating a banana. “You are so lucky. If someone that I love had proposed to me, I would have been in heaven now.” Izzie had a big smile at her mouth.
Suddenly the pagers went off. “Bailey wants us all down in the pit.” They stood us and walked down to the ER together.

“Chief?” Bailey came into his office. “What the hell have you done with my intern?” Derek looked up from his papers. “What?” Bailey came further into his office. “My intern, Meredith Grey. What have you done?” Derek looked shocked. “Oh don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.” Derek stood up. “What do you mean, I haven’t done anything…” Before he got a chance to say something more, Bailey interrupted him.

“So why is she missing, and why does my other suck up’s saying she went to see you?” Derek shook his head. “I haven’t seen her all day, she hasn’t been here.” Bailey disappeared out the door, and before closing it, she replied. “Then you go find her.” She locked the door leaving Derek alone in his office. What did she mean? What was wrong with his fiancee? His Meredith?

Meredith sat outside the hospital. They had called from the nursing home; her mother was on the way to the hospital. Meredith had just hung up when she heard it, and had run outside. She couldn’t face her mother, she just couldn’t. Suddenly the rain come, but Meredith didn’t care. She just sat there, and tried to think about something else, but her mother’s voice still screamed in her head.

“You’re no more than ordinary. Get the hell out of my way, and stop bothering me at work. I don’t want to see you again. I should never have a kid.”

Meredith couldn’t hold back more, and the tears came. It started raining even more, but she didn’t care.
“Damn it. Damn you mom, damn it,” Meredith was angry, and sad and hurt.
Derek went down to the first floor when he saw Meredith sitting outside in the rain. What had happened? He thought as he walked out to her.
“What’s wrong, Mer why are you sitting her?” Meredith didn’t see him, and gave a sudden start when he spoke.

Derek could see the tears even if it was raining. “Let’s go inside,” Derek said taking her hand.
“No, no not inside. I, I can’t, can’t see her,” Meredith said as she sobbed. Derek didn’t know why she didn’t want to, but he couldn’t let her stay here.
“Mer, just to my office and then you can tell me what’s wrong.” Meredith stood up, but when Derek started walking she ran to her car. Derek noticed her, and ran after to stop her.

“Meredith, you can’t drive yet, and you have work waiting for you.” Meredith didn’t listen to him and found the key to open the door. Before she got a chance to sit inside, Derek took both of the hands and pulled her close to him. He stood and held her with his arms and looked her in her eyes.

“Meredith you can’t drive, you have to tell me what’s wrong. I won’t let you go before you tell me. It didn’t rain anymore and Derek still looked at her. “Tell me Mer, what’s wrong.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to do this, but if you don’t come with me inside again, I’m going to carry you.” Meredith started to go to the door, and Derek followed after her.
Up at Derek’s office Meredith sat down in a chair. She didn’t say a word and Derek was worried about her. Derek’s pager went off.

“Mer, I have to go, but you stay here. I’ll tell Bailey your not working today, but don’t go anywhere I’ll be back soon.” He shut the door behind him, and went down to the pit.
“Bailey, you paged?” Bailey came up to him. “Yes, Shepherd its Ellis Grey.” Derek lifted his eyebrows. “Oh, what’s wrong?”

Bailey looked a little sad. “She’s into surgery with Burke but she’s almost gone, Derek does Meredith know?” Derek rubbed his face. “I think she does, well do you need me somewhere?” Bailey shook her head. “Not yet, I’ll page if we need you.”
Derek nodded and walked to his office. He needed to speak with Meredith.

As he opened the door to his office he found Meredith still sitting in the same chair.
“Mer,” he said taking a seat beside her. “Your mother is in the hospital, but you know don’t you?” Meredith nodded, still silent. Derek took her hand and looked her in her eyes.

“She’s in surgery with Burke, after the left heart aorta broke.” He took a deep breath before he continued.

“Looks bad, but she can still survive, Mer there’s still a chance.” Meredith felt her body started to shake, and tears streaming down her check. “Derek,” she said as he took his arms around her. “She will die Derek,” she said before she started to sob.
Derek held her tighter and strokes her over her back.

Meredith wasn’t sure if it was the fact that she was angry at her mother, or if she was scared that she would die, she cried. She had Derek, and she was more than happy about that. She loved him so much, and he was here for her, always.

She held her arms around her neck, and let her head lean against his chest. But there was still a chance, still a chance she would wake up, and be lucid.

Right now she was alive, and right now there was still a chance, but she could also die any minute, soon!!!

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(Chapter 14. here you go...)


Derek came back to his office. He had been down talking to Bailey. As he took a seat with Meredith again, she could see it on his face. “Mer, Burke did everything he could but the aorta was…there was nothing he could have done it was too much... Meredith your mother died 15.38.”

Meredith stood up. “She’s, she’s…” The tears came again, and she could barley stand up. Derek stood up and took her arms.
“Mer, you need to breath,” He said as he held her with his strong hands. Meredith started sobbing and collapsed in Derek’s hands. She didn’t know if it was loosing her mother that made her sad, or if it was all the memories and that her mother died without really knowing her. She didn’t know she had become a doctor, she didn’t know she had a boyfriend who now had become her fiancee.
She didn’t know how she was; all she remembered was her like a five year old girl. She remembered Richard and she even remembered her scrub nurse Liz Fallon, but she didn’t remember her daughter.
She didn’t remember her, and that made Meredith sad. As more tears streamed down her cheek she thought about Derek. She had Derek, she would always have him.
“Derek?” She whispered. “Yes?” He replied still holding her. “I love you,” she whispered, and she pushed back so she could see his eyes. “I love you to Meredith,” he said as he strokes her cheek.
“You have no idea how much,” he said smiling. She leaned to him and gave him a kiss. “Mer, you want to see her?” Derek said looking serious. She shook her head.
“No, I don’t need to. She’s dead, gone.” Derek nodded. “She will always be in my heart, and I love her and I know she loved me too, but she never shoved me. She never told me, but I know she did. She’s resting now, and I’m okay. I think she has it better now than she has had it in years.”
Meredith gave him a smile back. “She’s finally out of my life, but she’s still in my heart.” Derek gave her a hog. “I know, I know,” he said.
Derek and Meredith left the hospital some hours later.

“No funeral?” Derek said looking at her. “No, she didn’t want that,” Meredith said shocking her head. “So, the trailer?” he said smiling. “Yes, the trailer,” she said smiling back. As they drove home, Meredith leaned back in the seat.
She was thinking about the day. She was really tired and closed her eyes. The sound of the engine was relaxing and soon after she drifted to sleep.
Derek didn’t want to wake her up, so he carried her inside the trailer and lay her down in the bed.
Derek sat down at the coach. Being chief was hard. After Richard went to Europe he was the only one who was responsible for the surgical floor. Being chief was like Richard had said; you have to choose between job and private life, family when you’re chief. Doing
both are impossible, he had said. Derek shook his head, stood up and walked over to the bad were Meredith lay sleeping peaceful. He undressed, and lay down next to her. She was so beautiful.
Even when she was sleeping he could feel his heart pumped faster. He knew she would always come before work. He will always prefer her over his job, always. He leaned down and gave her a quick kiss on her forehead.
“I love you,” he said and putted his arms around her and drifted to sleep him selves.
When Derek woke up next morning he couldn’t see Meredith anywhere. Then he heard the shower was on. He stood up, and made some coffee. When Meredith got out of the shower Derek walked over to her. “Good morning sweetie,” he said kissing here.

“You’re up?” She said a little surprised. “I made coffee, you want some?” He said walking over to the coffee machine. “Yes, thanks,” she said starting to get dressed.
“So, how are you today, I mean do you need a day off?” Meredith smiled to him. “No, I’m fine.”
Derek nodded giving her a cup. “You know, if you want to talk about it I’m here.” Meredith leaned to him, and gave him a long kiss. “I know Dr Shepherd, and I’m fine.” Derek had to laugh.
“Will you ever stop calling me Dr Shepherd?” Meredith laughed too. “Maybe, maybe not.”
When they came to the hospital Meredith suddenly froze. Derek stopped the car, but Meredith just sat there staring at the hospital. Derek new she had some memories from the day before, and took her hand in his.
“It’s okay Mer, I’m here with you,” he whispered still holding her hand. Meredith nodded and looked at him. “I’m okay, it’s just…nothing I’m okay.” She opened the door and stepped out. It was cold, but it didn’t rain.
She’s gone, she’s gone she’s not there anymore, voices said in her head. She closed her eyes for a second. Derek walked over to her and took her hand. “You’re ready?” He said looking worried. Meredith smiled to him. “I’m ready.”
As she came into her looker room she found Cristina and Izzie talking. “The legend is gone, Ellis Grey. You know it is a shame…”
Izzie interrupted Cristina. “Poor Meredith, she’s finally happy and then sudden her mother dies.” They become both silent when they saw Meredith. “Hey, Mer, uhm…how are you?” Izzie said looking a little guilty. Meredith smiled.
“I’m fine, really.” Cristina nodded, and Bailey came into the locker.
“Okay, Yang, Karev get an EEG on patient at room 2407. Grey, O’Malley you’re getting an EKG, and an ERCP at patient room 1462. Okay move people, were having a rush day.” They stormed out of the room, and Bailey made her way to the chief’s office.
“Um, Mr. Greg you have what we call an angina pectoris, and we to take you to an EKG now.”
Mr. Greg looked incomprehensible at Meredith and George. “What does that mean?” “That means that the pain you have had in breastbone is causing heart spasm, and that means you may have anemia. It can also be calcinations in the crane artery because of anemia, but we can’t know for sure before we have an EKG.”
Mr. Greg looked confused. “Okay, so that you are saying is?” “That we are saying is that you may have a heart disease, and need surgery.” Mr. Greg nodded. “Okay, so when would you know for sure what it is?” “We will know about two hours after the EKG.” “When are you taking me to this EKG?” Mr. Greg asked looking at Meredith.
“As soon as possible. First we have to page or cardio specialist, Dr Burke.” Meredith and George leaved the room and went to find Burke.
“So how are you doing, I mean about your mother and…” George said looking at her. “I’m fine George, let’s just find Burke.” George nodded.
Derek sat at his office. The day was over, and he had been in a seven hours surgery. He was waiting for Meredith. They had planned to meet at his office, but she hadn’t showed up yet.

“Chief?” Cristina came into his office. “Yang, what can I do for you?” Derek said looking at her.
“Uhm, I’m not here to…it’s, well I’m here to tell you something…and it’s…” Derek interrupted her.
“Get to the point please.” Cristina nodded. “Yes of course. It’s Meredith.” Derek stood up. “Is she okay? Has something happened?” Derek walked over to her. “Um, she’s. Derek I think you want to see it your selves.” Derek lifted his eye brows.
“Okay? So where is she?” Cristina hesitated before telling him. “She’s, she’s…” Suddenly someone knocked at the door.
“Shepherd?” It was Alex coming in. “Derek and Cristina turned to see him. “It’s Meredith.” Derek started to get angry.
“Can somebody tell me were the hell she is?” Alex looked at Cristina. “Follow me,” Alex said starting walking. Derek ran after.
Was something wrong with her? Was she hurt? Derek’s head was a big mess.
“Tell me what’s wrong with her,” he begged Alex. Alex just looked at him and shook his head. “You see your selves,” he said keep walking.
Derek didn’t know were she was or is there was something wrong with her, but he did know that it wasn’t something good. “Were here any second,” Cristina said as they walked out of the elevator.
Any second, Derek replied in his head. Any second!

(What do you think??? Tell me...)

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(it was a sudden ending at chapter 14...anyway here's chapter 15)



Derek followed Alex and Cristina into the locker room. As they entered, they saw Izzie and George standing outside the door to the bathroom.

“Mer, please,” Izzie begged. “What’s going on?” Derek said coming up to the door where Izzie and George stands. “She’s, she won’t…” before Izzie got a chance to say something more, George interrupted.
“Her father came to the hospital earlier because of Ellis Grey, and…He said something to Meredith, we don’t know what and…” Cristina came up to them. “He told her to stay away from him, and don’t bother him with Ellis or her selves. He said he was tired of her, and…” Alex interrupted. “And then he hit her.”
When Derek heard that he got angry. “Meredith, open the door,” Derek said knocking on it. He didn’t get an answer, and tried again. Suddenly the other intern’s pagers went of.
“Uh, we need to go, there ER is full,” George said as they left. Derek rubbed his face and tried again.
“Mer, please just open the door. It’s just me her now.” He heard someone moving inside at the bathroom, and the door opened. Derek saw Meredith sitting at the floor.
She looked like a mess. First her mother had died, and then her father won’t have her in his life, not to dimension that he’d hit her. Derek stepped inside and closed the door behind him. As he sat down next to her he could see that she had been crying.
She was red at her left cheek after Thatcher had hit her. Derek took his hand and placed it on Meredith’s cheek.
“He hit you Meredith,” he said as he strokes her softly over her face. Tears came up in her eyes again, and fell down her cheek.
“He doesn't want me to be his daughter Derek,” She whispered. Derek putted his arms around her. She leaned down and rested her head at his chest. “I’m sorry,” He whispered as she sobbed into his shirt.
He felt sad for her. First her mother died, and now this. “I’m okay,” Meredith said pulling away from Derek.
“No your not,” Derek said looking worried at her. “Derek I am okay. You know why?” She said smiling.
Derek shook his head. “Because I have you,” she whispered, and leaned towards him.
Derek and Meredith left the hospital for the day. “So what do you say? Want to go Joe?” Derek said.

“Meredith smiled and nodded. “Yes, that would be great. But can we drive to my place first?” Derek nodded, and they took a seat in the car.
“So when can I drive again?” Meredith said looking at him. “Well, in one week you should be ready. That reminds me of something. I have to take you for a CT tomorrow and check you arm.”
Meredith looked at her arm. Was she going to tell him? She shook her head thinking about something else.
“Are you okay?” Derek said looking at her. “I’m fine,” She said smiling. She knew something was wrong with her hand, but she could still operate. She shook her head; she didn’t want to think more about her arm today.
Beep, beep, beep, beep.

Meredith leaned over her bed to turn of the alarm. It was 4.30am and she had rounds in an hour.
“What time is it?” Derek said rolling over to her bedside. “4.30, my shift starts in an hour.” Derek opened his eyes, and leaned down to kiss his fiancée. “Derek, stop it,” Meredith said laughing as Derek hovered her.
“I have to go take a shower,” she said and went out of bed. “I can join you,” Derek said smiling. Meredith looked at him with a “shut up” look. “What? You don’t want me in the shower with you?” Derek said still smiling.
“No, get dressed and go down and make some breakfast.” Derek grinned. Meredith was always so bossy, kept him in line. He loved her even more when she was bossy. With Meredith in his thought, he almost collided with George who came out of his room.
“Oh, good morning Dr Shepherd,” He said and walked toward the bathroom.
“Morning,” Derek said as he went downstairs. At the kitchen he met Izzie. “Good morning,” Derek said.
“And what are making?” he said looking curious at her. “I’m making crème Dechilio,” she said proud.
“Crème what?” Derek replied as he took a cup coffee. “It’s Italian, I don’t really know what it is, but I wanted t try something new.” Derek took a seat and started to eat his muesli.
“I’m never going to understand me at that girl,” he mumbled. “So, how’s Meredith doing? Her father was really…” Derek looked up from his newspaper.
“She’s fine I think, but I don’t think she wants to talk about it.” Izzie nodded and started to scrutinize the recipe again.
“Dr Grey to room 3146, Dr Grey to room 3146.”

Meredith looked at her pager. It was Derek. He wanted to have a look at her arm, but he couldn’t. If he took a look at it, he would see that something was wrong with it.
“Grey, I paged you,” Derek came up to her. “Yes, I had a patient;” she lied.
“So can I take a look?” Meredith got a little panic. “Oh, you know what? Dr Wayne took a look at it this morning and everything is normal.” Meredith lied again. “Okay, but I would like to check it my selves,” Derek said looking a little weird at her.
“You know, it’s no need to. Bailey needs me in the ER, I’ll see you later okay?” Meredith hurried down the hall. Derek stood looking at her. Why was she acting so weird? Why wouldn’t she let him take a look at her arm? Derek shook his head, and walked down to his office.
“Grey, where the hell have you been?” Bailey came up to her. “I have paged you,” she said.

“Yes, I had to do something.” Bailey turned to the other interns.
“Stevens you take Mr. Clint to Dr Burke. O’Malley you’re with Dr Shepherd, Yang, Grey you’re waiting for the two ambulances’ that’s coming in.”
Meredith and Cristina stood looking at each other when they heard the ambulances’ were coming. “I’ll take the first one,” Cristina said running to the EM door.
“45 year old female, has a head trauma, CVP, pulse 30, 3mm morphine, has lost a lot of blood.” Cristina came over to the lady. “I have her,” she said and took her inside.
“Male, 56, has Diabetics ketoacidose. Getting IVU 2/3 and has a normal pulse. No bleedings or heart disease.” Meredith ran over to the man and got him inside. “Page Dr Bailey,” Meredith said as she started to give him 5mm emphysema, he has an esophagus. Can somebody get Bailey?” Meredith yelled again.
“So how’s your guy?” Cristina asked as they eat lunch.

“We took him for an ERCP and we will get him into surgery this afternoon. The weird thing is that they said he had diabetic ketoacididose, but what he really has is esophagus.”
Cristina lifted her eyebrows.” The woman I got is completely crazy. She needs surgery because she has a head bleeding, but refuses before tomorrow because it’s raining today.” Meredith smiled.
“I’ll call physic for you,” she said as she continued. “You really want in on that surgery what?” Meredith said with a grin.
“Yeh, of course. Shepherd is going fix an epidural hemorrhagic in her brain, god I want in on that surgery.” Meredith laughed. “So I guess I’m luckier than you today,” she said smiling.
“What?” Cristina said and stopped chewing. “I’m scrubbing in when were opening a heart today.” Cristina opened her moth. “
That’s, oh my…that’s now fear,” she yelled and crossed her arms.
“I think I’m going up to persuade my patient to take the damn surgery today. I think I will tell her that I will kill her with a knife if she refuses.” Meredith laughed and Cristina disappeared. Sometimes her friend could be really jealous, Meredith thought.
“Hey,” A voice that Meredith recognized very well said behind her. “Derek,” Meredith said as he took a seat beside her.
“So how’s your day?”Meredith smiled. “Just fine, I’m in on a open heart surgery with Bailey later.”
Derek smiled too. “Oh, well that’s good, but I was thinking about with your father and…” Meredith took his hand. “Derek, I have you.
You are what matters for me, not my father who I have barley seen in my life, not my dead mother who doesn’t know me, but you. I’m okay, because a have you. Because I have you, I’m happy.”
Derek smiled and gave her a quick kiss. “I love you,” he whispered. “I love you too Dr Shepherd,” she whispered before her pager went off.
“It’s Bailey, were doing the surgery now. I have to go, see you later okay?” She gave him one more kiss and disappeared. Derek grinned. He was lucky having Meredith. He loved her so much.
He smiled thinking about the plans he had for their evening. ”He was a lucky guy” he thought as he walked to his office again.
He was happy, actually more than happy!

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(Chapter 16, here you go...please tell me what you think about it???)



”Meredith?” Izzie came up to her. “Are you okay?” Izzie looked worried at her. Meredith knew she had to lie.
“Yes, I’m just fine.” She stood up and left the closet, ready to face a new hectic day at Seattle Grace. She knew her arm wasn’t well, but she didn’t want to bother Derek with it.
He had it rough enough as it was now when he was chief. But she knew she had to get an exam of her arm. In the best case it could be just a small infection. But she couldn’t tell anyone, cause if she did they wouldn’t let her work. She walked over to the nurse station where she saw Cristina was standing reading a chart. “Hey there,” Meredith said. Cristina just nodded still reading.
“You have a good case I see?” Meredith said smiling. “You can just guess,” Cristina said and disappeared. Meredith had to laugh. “Cristina will never change,” she said to her selves before she started looking for her own patient’s chart.

“17 year old female, came to the hospital yesterday after having access of fever, has anemia, and fever is still high.” Burke nodded to Meredith, before he turned to the patient.
“Hallie, Dr Grey will come and check on you later and we will do some tests. If necessary we will operate.” Hallie just nodded, and Burke left. “Just perfect,” Hallie said to her selves. Meredith walked over to her bed.
“You know the feeling when you know something is wrong with you, and you have to tell someone but somehow you can’t tell this person? It’s like you’re afraid that it will make it worse, that they won’t…” Meredith finished the sentence for her. “…understand you, that they won’t accept it? Yes I know,” Meredith said. Hallie nodded. “I didn’t want to lie to them, but I didn’t know how to tell them the truth.” Meredith nodded. “I have to go, but I will be back later, okay?” Hallie smiled to her.
“Yeh, see you.” Meredith left the room, but Hallie’s words were still in her head.
I have to tell Derek, but I can’t.
Meredith hadn’t seen Derek the whole day, and was grateful for that. She didn’t want him to know that she was going to take a blood test. “Dr Grey, where have you been?” Bailey said coming up to her. “I was just…I was just, uhm checking something and…” Bailey looked weird at her. “Anyway, your patient is going into surgery now and you might get to that OR before Burke finds another intern.” Meredith nodded and hurried to OR 1. “Interns,” Bailey said to her selves as she moved on.
“Dr Grey, how nice it is that you join us,” Burke said as she came to the OR. “Sorry Dr Burke.” Burke gave her a fake smile. “Well, I hope this is the first and last time you will be late. You will get to scrub in this time, but next time…” Meredith nodded. “Of course Dr Burke.”
“It’s a shame, but it happens,” Burke said as they stood in the washing room. Meredith stood and watched the dead girl on the table. The nurses were sewing her up. She looked peaceful. “She was right,” Meredith mumbled. “17 years was all she got.” Burke shook his head and turned the spring on. “So, how’s your arm doing?” Burke said suddenly. ”Oh, my arm is just fine,” Meredith lied. Burke just smiled. “I’m glad it is,” he said before he left.
Meredith stood outside Derek’s office and waited for him. He was in the middle of a phone conversation, but Meredith didn’t know who he was talking to. As he finally were finished and came out of his office, he looked tired.
“Hi,” he said and smiled when he saw he fiancée were standing there waiting for him. “Haven’t seen you today,” he said and walked up to her. “Yeh, busy day,” Meredith lied. “Yeh,” he responded and gave her a quick kiss on her check.
“So, ready to go home?” Meredith smiled. “Defiantly,” she said and they walked out to the car. “So, I was thinking we could take the ferry boat today,” Derek said as they sat in the car. “I would love to,” Meredith said giggling.
At the ferry boat, Meredith and Derek stood at the deck and looked out over the water. The sun was still up, and the wind blew warm this spring day.
“Anyway, who were you talking to in the phone today?”
Derek looked secretly at her. “Well, I can’t tell you that,” he said with a grin.
Meredith crossed her arms. “Derek, I hope this isn’t a surprise, because you know I hate surprises.” Derek just continued grinning, before he said: “The last time I surprised you were when I proposed, and from my opinion you liked that surprise.” Derek almost laughed when he saw her face.
“Derek Michael Shepherd, you have no idea how much I dislike you right now,” she said looking very stubborn.
“Oh, you love me,” Derek said teasing her. “Actually…” Before Meredith got a chance to say more, Derek grabbed her arm, leaned down to her and gave her a long soft kiss. “I promise I will tell you soon,” he said still grinning.
“Let’s talk about something else,” Meredith said. Derek nodded. “Why don’t we discuss you,” Derek said and pointed on her. “Me?” Meredith said lifting her eyebrows. “Yes, example your arm. How is you arm? Have someone looked at it lately?” Meredith felt how her heart pumped faster. The last thing she wanted Derek to talk to her about was her arm.
She was a bad liar, and Derek could read her very well. “Oh, my arm? Well yes, I mean my arm is just normal again.” Meredith tried to smile. “Have someone had a look at it? I would really want to have a look my self,” he said touching her left arm. “That’s not necessary, Dr Milton checked it three days ago, and everything was normal.” Derek nodded. He didn’t really understand why she just could let him look at it.“So let’s just not talk about anything. Let’s just enjoy the wind and our ferry boat trip,” Meredith said smiling.
She took Derek’s arm and stood close to him. Derek took his arm around her, and they stood like this until the ferry boat stopped and they had to go down to their car.
“Meredith?” Izzie called from the living room when Meredith and Derek came home. Meredith walked into her. “I found some of your mother’s surgical tapes. Do you mind if George and I watch them? You can join us too if you want to, and Derek.”
Meredith looked at Izzie. She looked like a little kid, who was going to watch her new princess video for her first time. “Yeh, sure just watch them,” Meredith said a little sad. “Great.” Izzie putted one of them on, and sat back on the coach beside George. It was the one when her mother were cutting up a man’s chest and took his heart out, fixed the left heart cliff and putted it back in.
When she saw her mother, she got tears in her eyes. She didn’t want to let Izzie and George see that she was crying, so she said short that she needed to clean up at her bedroom, and went up. Derek who had went to the kitchen to make some dinner, saw her and went after her. Meredith hurried in to her bedroom and started to bend some of her clothes and put them in her wardrobe. Derek reached the door, and stood looking at her.
“Mer,” he started. “I’m busy,” she said still bending and running from her chair where all her new washed clothes laid, and her wardrobe. Derek walked towards her, and grabbed her arm. “Mer, stop,” he said shaking her. Meredith turned to him and looked into his deep blue eyes. She could never look into his eyes and not telling him the truth.
“You’re upset because of your mother, right?” Derek said softly. Tears came up in her eyes again.
“I just can’t watch those tapes, okay? I can’t watch my mother doing those surgeries. They just remind me about where she was when I was a little girl. She wasn’t with me, she was never with me. She was in the OR saving people, and taking care of other children not her own child. Even on my birthday. She was never home, never making a birthday cake to me. She just left some money on the kitchen table, and some times she forgot my birthday too.”
Meredith looked at the floor now. Some tears still came down her cheek. “She didn’t know me Derek, she died and she didn’t know me.” Derek wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. “I’m so sorry Mer, I’m so sorry,” he said rubbing her back. “
As the tears stopped Meredith lifted her head from his shoulder. Derek smiled to her and gave her a kiss. “Want to help me cook dinner?” Derek asked. Meredith had to laugh. “Derek, I can’t cook you know that.” Derek laughs.
“What about lasagna?” Derek suggested. “Lasagna sounds good,” she said smiling. “Yes, and you can have the honor to make the salad.” Meredith crossed her arms. “Fine, but you’re doing the dishes.”
“Hey, I’m the one who makes the lasagna here,” he said also crossing his arms. Meredith looked at him with those puppy eyes she knew he couldn’t say no to. “Fine, I’ll do the dishes,” Derek said. Meredith gave him a quick kiss and grinned.
“I have to say I really dislike you right now,” Derek said.
“Oh, you love me,” Meredith said laughing.

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(here you go..chapter 17. More very soon. Enjoy!!)


“So how are you and Burke doing?” Meredith said to her friend as they sat in the cafeteria. “What?” Cristina replied.
“Oh, Burke’s still mad at you because of the…” Cristina interrupted her. “You know what? Why don’t we discuss something else?” Meredith smiled. “So he hasn’t forgiven you yet?” Cristina looked at her with a “shut up” look.
“If you so much as dimension to Burke that I told you about this…” Cristina said serious.
“So you took a blood test yesterday. Is it your arm?” Meredith’s smile disappeared. “If you tell Derek ever or somebody else…” Cristina sat up. “You haven’t told Derek that something is wrong with your arm?” Meredith just shook her head.
“Okay, so lets make a deal. I won’t tell Derek about your blood test or your arm, and you won’t tell Burke about me telling you that I fall asleep during sex.”
Meredith nodded. “Deal.” Cristina and Meredith got silent and just sat and ate their lunch.
No one of them said anything more.“Dr Grey, we have your results back,” a nurse said. “Thanks,” Meredith said and took the paper the blond nurse gave her.
She got chock when she saw the results. How could this happen? She got tears in her eyes and hurried to the locker room. When she sat down in the locker room, some more tears came. How could she tell Derek this? How could she tell him that her arm wasn’t checked? That she had a blood infection? Meredith slammed her head in the wall. Or should she tell Derek at all? What if he finds it out?
“Damn it, damn it damn it.” She took some deep breaths before she stood up and walked down to the nurse station. She had to find out more about blood infection. Was it from the gun shoot, or the surgery? Could surgery help, or could it heal with antibiotics? She sat down with a computer and started research.
“Sepsis?” Derek came up to her. “Oh, yes there’s…my patient may have it,” Meredith said quickly.
“Oh,” Derek said and leaned over her. “So I was thinking we could go to Joe’s tonight, what do you say?” Meredith turned to face him. “Sounds good Dr Shepherd she said, and looked at him with a look that told him not to do this in public.
“Great, I’ll see you later Dr Grey,” Derek said professional and smiled to her. “Stop it,” Meredith whispered as Derek blinked to her. He had to laugh when he walked away. She could be really serious about flirting at work in public sometimes.“Grey, you’ll take the incoming ambulance. O’Malley to the pit, Karev you’re with Burke and Yang you’re with me.” Bailey hurried down the hall with Cristina in her heals. Meredith went to the emergency.
“31 year old male, head injuries, been given 3cc hemoreci and a doze of obdyzirc, morphine and 5mm vertexil.” They got inside. “Somebody page Dr Shepherd,” Meredith said.
“Mr. Greg I need you to stay awake okay?” Greg looked at her with big eyes. “Where am I, where Bonzel?”
Derek came running up to them. “What do we got,” he said and looked at Meredith. “Kean Greg 31, head injuries. Stable but needs a CT scan, antibiotics and may have head bleedings. "
“Okay, get him to CT, and we need an EEG.” Meredith nodded. “Yes Dr Shepherd.”“You paged?” Derek said and came into the CT room. “Yes, I though you wanted to have a look.” Derek sat down and took a look at the computer. “Damn,” he said as some more pictures came up.
“Schedule Dr Hawn’s surgery. This guy needs to get in the OR as fast as possible,”
Derek said as he and Meredith walked down to the board. “Okay, I’ll make sure she get’s to know it,” Meredith said. “Thanks,” Derek said and gave her a quick smile. “See you later babe,” he whispered to her ear before he left. Meredith smiled back at him, before she turned to face to board.Meredith and Derek were on their way to Joe’s.
“So even when the surgery went well, he might not be well?” Meredith asked as they sat in the car.
“He will be just fine, if he ever wakes up,” Derek replied. Meredith nodded. All the time the blood test results came back to her minds. Derek parked the car and they walked into the bar together.
As they entered the bar they saw Cristina and Burke sitting there drinking bear. Meredith and Derek took a seat beside them and ordered a bear too. “So, any good surgeries today?” Derek said to Burke.
“Just a bypass,” Burke said taking a sip of his bear. “Darts?” Burke said, and he and Derek went over to play.
“He doesn’t even speak to me,” Cristina finally said. “He will eventually, just wait,” Meredith said and took a quick look at Derek and Burke.
“You haven’t told him yet?” Cristina said as she saw Meredith sigh. Meredith just shook her head.
“I got the results back,” she said after a while. Cristina turned to her friend. “And?” Meredith hesitated before she decided to tell Cristina. “I have a blood infection,” she said quickly. Cristina looked at her with big eyes. “Well, what are you going to do?” Meredith took another sip of her bear. “I’ve done some research, and my best opportunity is another surgery, but there are some risks.”
“You can loose hand function,” Cristina said. “The first surgery I had could had broke the central nerve, and if I have another surgery it’s a bigger chance that the nerve will be damaged.”
Cristina looked serious at her friend. “And if you don’t take the surgery, you can also loose hand function, just a matter of time.” Meredith nodded. “A time question,” she said biting her under lip.
“A time game,” Cristina replied to her.
“So what do I do Cristina?” Meredith said desperately.
“You’re my person, tell me what I should do,” Meredith said again. Cristina just sat there and looked at her bear. “Fight Mer, fight,” she finally said. “Fight for your carrier,” Cristina said before she stood up and walked out of the bar. Meredith sat left and looked after her. She knew Cristina didn’t know what else she could do.
She wasn’t that kind of person who hogged you if you were in a situation like this. But she still did her best to help her friend.
Fight Mer, fight. The words were still in her head.
“Where’s Cristina?” Derek said coming up to her. “Um, she forgot something at the hospital so she had to go back,” Meredith said without really having a clue where she had left. Derek just nodded. “Okay, maybe we should get going too.” Derek turned to tell Burke before he and Meredith left.As they entered the door at Meredith’s house there were no one home.
“Come join me in the shower,” Derek whispered and went upstairs. Meredith followed him. As she reached the door to her bed room, Derek grabbed her, and started unclothing her.
“Derek,” Meredith said as she laughed. Derek kissed her neck and carried her into the bathroom.
“Were gonna have hot sex,” Derek said between the kisses. As they reached the shower, Derek turned the water on, and they stepped in. The water was hot, and this was exactly what Meredith needed after all the bad news she had got this day.
“Derek,” Meredith said grasping for air. Derek continued kissing her and felt his way down her body. Meredith strokes her fingers through his wet hair, and moaned.
She had really missed this. She had missed having Derek around, feeling his body. She felt bad inside thinking about that she lied to him. She really wanted to tell him everything, but she didn’t know how.
Fight Mer, fight for your carrier,
Derek’s wet lips touched hers again.
fight for Derek. She loved him so much; and right now more than ever, more than anyone.

I can’t let this happen, I won’t let this happen, she though as Derek took her deeper and further in than ever.

It’s a time game, and it’s just a matter of time!

(I don't really like this chapter, but anyway I hope you guys enjoyed it. oh and there may be some spelling errors...updates soon!!)
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(Okay, here's another chapter. read, enjoy and tell me what you think)



“Cristina?” Meredith called and ran after her. “Mer,” Cristina started. “You have to tell him,” she said.
“What?” Meredith said surprised. “Tell him about your arm, or I will,” she said stubborn. ”Cristina, we made a deal…” Cristina interrupted her. “No, Mer you tell him. It’s your arm, your ability to ever operate again. What if you couldn’t be a surgeon anymore? Derek can fix it, and you have to tell him today.”
Meredith looked shocked. This wasn’t the Cristina she knew. “Cristina,”
“No, I won’t talk to you before you have told him,” she said and walked out of the locker room. Meredith sat down. Cristina was right. She had to tell him, and that fast.
She decided to go find him now before her rounds started. She stood up and headed to his office.

“Come in,” he said as Meredith knocked at the door. “Hi,” she said fast.
“Mer, what’s up,” he said when he saw her face. “Um, Derek there’s something I have to tell you.” Meredith started playing with her ring, the beautiful ring Derek had given her when he proposed. “Take a seat.”

Meredith sat down, still not looking at him. “Okay, so…” Meredith finally looked at him.
“I’ve had some cramp in my left arm lately, so I took a blood test to see if there maybe was an infection or something,” Meredith started. “Sorry Derek, I should have told you.”
“You haven’t got your arm checked have you?” Derek said bitterly. Meredith shocked her head. “No,” she whispered. She took a deep breath before she finally told him.
“My blood test came back, and I have an infection. I have a blood infection in my arm Derek.” Derek looked shocked.

“You have Sepsis and you haven’t told me,” he said with a low voice. Meredith got tears in her eyes. “Sorry Derek, I’m so sorry.” Derek got softer when he saw the tears in her eyes.
“I’ll take you for a check today, and if you need surgery we’ll operate,” he said not waiting for her to response it. Meredith just nodded. “You could have told me Meredith,” Derek said as he stood up and walked over to her. Meredith stood up ready to get back to her resident when Derek took her arm.

“You won’t get to work today,” he said stubborn. Meredith didn’t say anything.
She just nodded again. Derek strokes her hair and kissed her forehead. “I’ll page you,” he said as she headed to the door.
“Okay,” Meredith said smiling. “Okay,” Derek said smiling back at her.
“Tell Bailey I’ll talk to her,” Derek said, and Meredith disappeared.
“Dr Grey?” Bailey called after her. “Where do you think you’re going? I have five patients waiting for an exam.” Meredith stopped and turned to her. “I’m not working,” she said.

“Excuse me?” Bailey said lifting her eyebrows. “Talk to the chief, he gave me the orders,” she said and left.
“Shepherd better have a good explanation for this,” Bailey said to her selves before she carried on.

“I told him,” Meredith said coming up to Cristina who was doing charts. “And now I’m not working.” Cristina looked up at her.
“I have to go,” she said quickly and left. Meredith looked at her pager.
Derek had still not paged her, and she had nothing to do other than going around at the hospital watching the other interns working, hanging out in the OR with the other surgeons and having fun.

But what If you couldn’t be a surgeon anymore?
Cristina’s words from this morning were still in her head. Meredith shook her head, and suddenly her pager went off.
“Derek, of course,” she said to her selves and went to find him.
“You paged,” she said coming up to him. “Yes, I will take you for a CT,” Derek said looking up from his chart.

“You’re a patient now Meredith.” Meredith nodded.
“So?” Meredith said when Derek came into her room. She had been for a CT and now Derek came with the results. “You have an early threaded blood infection, and we’re operating you tomorrow morning.” Derek sat down at her bed side.
“You’re the one to do it, right?” Meredith said. Derek took her hand in his. “I think so,” he said and gave her a weak smile.

“You have a fever Mer, and you have had it in two days,” Derek said and stroke her forehead. Meredith nodded and lent back in the bed and closed her eyes. “Do I have to sleep here tonight?” she said opening her eyes again. Derek nodded.
“You know the hospital rules,” he said giving her a fake smile. “But you’re the chief, can’t you make an exception?” Meredith said with puppy eyes. Derek would really like to say yes, but he couldn’t.

“Sorry Mer,” he said and kissed her softly. “I’ll check you later babe,” he said and left the room. Meredith just laid there and looked around in the room. Now she knew why patient didn’t like to sleep at the hospital.

You can’t describe how it is to lie there for hours just staring in the wall or watching day TV. She knew that very soon the other interns would show up, asking her lots of questions. She could already hear that Izzie were standing outside her room talking.
“I can’t believe she didn’t tell us,” he heard Izzie said. “She has a blood infection in her arm,” George started.
“Dude, O’Malley it’s called Sepsis. Didn’t you know that?” Alex said teasing. “Shut up,” she heard Cristina said to them.

“Let’s pretend everything is normal,” she started before Izzie interrupted. “But everything isn’t normal. She’s having surgery tomorrow.” Suddenly it got quiet in the hall. Meredith expected them to rush into her room, but none of the interns came.
Another person Meredith didn't expected at all, walked into her room. "Meredith," Bailey started before she came closer.

"I'm sorry about your arm. I heard you're having surgery tomorrow." Meredith nodded. "Tell me the truth Dr Bailey. Whats the chances that I will loose arm function?" Bailey sighed.
"It's 50/50."

Meredith nodded. "Okay, if there's anything you need..." Meredith interrupted. "Thank you, but I'm fine." Bailey nodded and left.
After a while she drifted into sleep. Derek came into her room when he saw she was asleep, he went over to her bed. He sat down and looked at her.

Tomorrow when he was going to operate her, her arm was his responsibility. If he did something wrong she would loose her ability to ever be a surgeon, to ever have hand function in her left arm. Meredith, his fiancee and the love of his life was his responsibility. He lent over her and kissed her.
“I love you, and I will do my best tomorrow to fix your arm Mer. I swear I will.” He stood up and walked out of the room.

“So you’re operating her tomorrow morning?” Bailey said as Derek came out of the room. Derek nodded.
“Poor girl,” Bailey said shocking her head. “Yeh,” was all Derek said before he went to his office.

Meredith woke up realizing it was afternoon. As she pulled her selves out of the bed, she saw Derek was standing in the door. “Oh, I didn’t see you,” she said. Derek walked up to her.
“I have to go toilet,” Meredith said quick, and stood up. She felt a little groggy after being sleeping all day. When she got back, Derek was gone. Meredith got disappointed. She really wanted to talk to him now. Suddenly Cristina came running into her room.

“Cristina?” Meredith said sitting at the bedside looking surprised at her friend.
“I got in on an open heart surgery with Burke,” she said almost jumping over the floor. “Your lucky. I wish I could be in too,” Meredith admitted. Cristina’s smile disappeared. “You will get into one, just wait.” Meredith looked down.
“Or maybe not, there is a big chance for loosing arm function you know.” Meredith changed subject.

“So you and Burke are good?” Meredith asked.
“Well, yes he smiled to me and said we were going to talk later...”
Cristina’s pager went off. “It’s Burke,” she said heading for the door again. “I’ll see you tomorrow before your surgery,” she said quickly and left. After Cristina had been there, Izzie, Alex and George came one by one. When it was nearly 10 pm, Derek came into her again.

“Derek,” Meredith said as he walked up to her. “Hi babe, had a surgery,” he lied. “Derek, can you stay with me tonight?” Meredith asked as Derek took a seat at her bed. “If you want me to,” he said smiling. “So, the nurses told me your fever is gone.”
Derek took an arm at her forehead. He strokes her softly over her hair before he lent down to her and kissed her. It was a long soft kiss, gently like they always did. Meredith smiled and sat up in the bed.

“You’re nervous, aren’t you?” Meredith said and took his hand. Derek nodded. “Of course I am. I can break your central nerve, and you can loose hand function Mer. I’m terrified to make a mistake, and end your carrier,” he said and Meredith took his hand and leaded it to her moth, and kissed it.
“You operated Burke's arm as well, and he could have loose hand function too. Derek you’re my best chance, and I’m willing to take that chance because you’re the best.” Derek kissed her again.
“Mer, I don’t know if I can handle this, again. I’m not sure I will be the one to operate. I love you so much,” he said and strokes her cheek.

“I love you too Derek and I want you to do this surgery.” Derek nodded. “You try getting some more rest. I’ll come by later, but I think I will sleep in my office.If you need anything, just page me,” ha said and gave her a quick kiss before he left.
Meredith sighed. She turned around in her bed and tried to sleep, but she couldn’t. Maybe Derek was right.
Maybe some one else should do the surgery. But he was the best. Later that night, Derek came in to check her and he found her sleeping.

He went over to her bed and sat down. “I promise Mer, I will do everything I can tomorrow to save your hand. I love you so much, and you don’t deserve this. I'll do anything for you.”
He stood up, and whispered something in her ear to her.

Those words he had whispered to her that night he was going to tell her one day, but right now he could just tell her when she was sleeping.
He headed to the door, and before closing it after him he smiled.

“Good night sleeping beauty.”


(So in this chapter Derek tells Meredith how he really feels about her in a kind of sweet way. Oh, and he's going to operate her hand, again?...
"talk about responsibility"..haha.
Anyway it's a huge thing to do for Derek, so will he really be the one to operate, or will it be someone else????
Find out in the next chapter, I will have it up soon!!!)

OooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooO

(Sorry for not posting before. Have been VERY busy with school this week. Anyway check out the new promo for next week's HALLOWEEN episode...
Oh, and tell what you think anout this chapter when you've read it!
Enjoy chapter 19.)



“Good morning,” Derek said walking into her room. “Derek? Gosh, what time is it?” Derek came over to her bedside.
“Nearly 7.am and your surgery is schedule to 8.30 so you have to wake up now.” Meredith opened her eyes slowly and looked up at her fiancée. “So did you sleep well?” Derek admitted as he examined her arm.
“Well, yes but I have to say I don’t like hospital beds.” Derek laughed. “Yeh, they’re not quite comfortable.” Meredith smiled. “So, who’s in the surgery today? Bailey, Burke?” Derek nodded.
“They’ll all be there and…” Derek stopped. “I’m not doing the surgery. I will be there the entire time make sure they don’t break your arm or something but I won’t be the one to operate.” Derek saw that Meredith’s eyes went from smiling to be unreadable.
“So, you will be there?” she said still with empty eyes. “Yes I will. Dr Burgeon with operate you, and I will watch him all the time.” Meredith nodded. She was still a little disappointed that Derek wasn’t be the one to operate, but maybe it was for the best. “Okay, I’ll see you soon,” Derek said as he left.
“So in one hour you’re in surgery,” Cristina said after a long silent time. “Yeh,” Meredith replied as she looked at Cristina. “Are you going to be in?” Cristina looked up at her for the first time since she came into the room.
“Oh, in? In the surgery? Well I’m not quite sure. I mean Bailey want’s me in the ER so I guess I'm not.” Meredith nodded. Cristina’s pager went off, and she hurried up. “Gotta go, see you after the surgery,” she said, happy to get to leave from the awkwardness situation.
Meredith just nodded. It had never been an awkward situation between the two of them before.
The clock ticked slowly, and the other interns said some quick words to her as they passed by. Nearly 8.15, Derek came into her again.
“Hi,” he said and came up to her. “So are you ready? We have to prep you now.” Meredith smiled.
“Do I have a choice?” Derek shook his head. “I guess I’m ready then.” Derek gave her a quick kiss. “You will be alright,” and “I love you,” were the last thing he said to her before she fall asleep, ready to be cut open.
“Doctors, we are going to remove the blood clot around the nerve, and do it as fast as possible so we won’t break the nerve.”
Dr Burgeon got ready. “Scalpel,” he said and reaches out his hand. “Derek stood beside him all the time.
“Wait,” Derek said suddenly, when Dr Burgeon was about to cut. “Is there a problem Dr Shepherd?” DrBurgeon said, angrily since he had interrupted his surgery. “Dr Burgeon, I would like you to get out of my OR now.”
Dr Burgeon gave the scalpel back to the scrub nurse. “Shep, this is ridiculous.” Dr Burgeon stepped aside.
“I’m the chief here, and I’m telling you to leave.” Dr Burgeon didn’t want to argue with the head of Nero surgery and chief of the surgical floor, so he wrapped his scrubs of and left.
“Okay, let’s get this blood clot out,” Derek said picking up the scalpel. He was nervous, hell he was. But watching another doctor cutting Meredith up as she was a piece of paper, he couldn’t handle.
The OR was silent. Everybody in there knew Meredith was a close friend to the chief. Actually his fiancée, not to dimension everything she had been trough and the first surgery she had when she got shot.
Derek tried not to think about that the girl on the table was his Meredith. He tried to just focus about the work, and to do it right. “How’s she doing?” Derek asked. “She’s fine, normal pulse and heart beats. No visible reactions.”
“Good,” Derek replied as he picked up the clamp. He had reached the central nerve, as he saw the blood clot.
“I found it, there’s an infection in the artery leading to the central nerve. I will have to get it out piece after piece, and still have blood circulation. We need blood ready if there will be any bleedings.” Derek sighted before he started.

The world does never stop

The time does never return

The moments just pass by

And there’s nothing you can do to chance it

But some time’s its feels like the world has stopped

Some times it feels like the time returns

Some times it feels like the moments lasts forever

And you feel stuck, you feel anger, you feel hate

But what you really feel is love

You can’t control it.

Or can you?

“Come on people,” Derek screamed as the blood splashed everywhere.
“We need more blood. Were the hell is the blood.” Derek worked as fast as he could, all the time thinking about Meredith. “Okay, 3mm hermopahin, 2cc aspiritin. We need this blood clot out now.” Derek began to sweat.

He used the instruments in a hurry, and finally the whole clot was out. “Okay, the blood clot is removed. Now we need more blood transfused.” Derek putted the instruments down, and headed to the sink room. “Some one close up,” he said before he was gone. Usually he would have close up since it was Meredith lying there, but he couldn’t.

He couldn’t manage being in the room any longer. As he stood over the sink, he heard a voice behind him. He recognized the voice very well. “How did it go?” Derek turned around to face her. “I think it went well,” Derek lied.

“Oh,” she said and turned to see Meredith as they closed her up. “She will be awake three or four hours after she’s done in here.” Derek said a he took a slice of paper to dry his hands.
“Okay,” Cristina said, turning to face her best friend one last time before she left. Derek left the sink room too. He didn’t have any more surgeries for the day, so he went up to his office.

Thinking about the surgery, and the fact that he had moved a piece of the blood clot too fast and he hit the nerve. Not much, but he had hit the nerve so it could be broken.
Derek sat down in his chair and putted his hands on his head. He felt a need to get away from the hospital. He stood up and walked down to the board. “Shep, how did it go?” Burke said coming up to him. “I think it went well, but we don’t know…”

“Before she wakes up,” Burke finished for him. Derek nodded. “Burke, I need you to do something for me.” Burke nodded. “Sure, anything.” Derek putted his hands on his hips. “You have to be chief for me a couple of hours.” Burke looked surprised.

“Okay,” Burke said. “I just need to do something. I will be back in a few hours, and I don’t have any surgeries.” Burke nodded. “The board is yours,” Derek said and left. Burke turned and watched as Derek got into the elevator and disappeared.

“Doc, this was a strange time at the day for you to come,” the bartender said.
“Today, it isn’t,” Derek replied taking a seat. Joe reached him double scotch single malt, and Derek took it to his lips and emptied the glass. “So had a bad morning?” Joe said. Derek sighted. “You have no idea,” he said as Joe gave him another shot. “I shouldn’t really be here,” Derek began.

“I should have been at the hospital waiting for her to wake up.” Joe turned his attention to him. “Meredith?” Derek raised his eyebrows. “How did you know?” Joe lifted his shoulders. “Last time you were her without her she was just been shot, and you had waited for her to wake up.” Derek nodded.

“Were should I be Joe,” he said tickling with the empty glass. “I think Meredith want’s you there with her, even when she’s not awake.” Derek sighed again. “But I did it. I hit the nerve during the surgery and she may loose her hand function. She may not be a surgeon anymore.”

“I think she wants you there anyway,” Joe replied. Derek emptied the second shot of whisky.
“What if it were you,” Joe started. “If you were having a surgery, and Meredith operated your arm. You may loose hand function, but wouldn’t you want her to be there when you wake up?” Derek nodded.

“You’re right Joe,” he said and stood up. He found some money in his pocket, and gave them to Joe. Derek walked to the door, and disappeared. He was going back to the hospital and wait for her to wake up.

He sat down in a chair beside her, all the time looking at her. He smiled, and took his hand to her face. “Your mother were proud of you Meredith. Even if she never told you, nor...”
Derek sighted.
“I’m proud of you too. You are a talented young women. You light my day up, you light me up. You’re bossy, keeps me in line and I love you for that. I love you for
everything that you are, and everything you have made me. Hell I can’t live without you Mer.” Derek took her arm up to his lips, and kissed it softly.

Somewhere over the rainbow
It says,
If you’re waiting for something good
You don’t wait forever

(So now Meredith is operated AGAIN, and Derek is waiting for her to wake up AGAIN! Please tell me what you think...another chapter will hopefully be up soon!!)

OoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooO
(Another quick chapter...I really hope that all of you who read will leave a comment...makes me happy to know what you think about the chapters!!)


Meredith sat up in bed. She felt sore after the surgery, not to dimension that she had slept since after the surgery the morning before. As she looked around in the room, she found Derek sleeping in a chair next to her. She smiled as she saw him.
He looked peaceful. She turned her head so she could look at the clock. It was 4 am and Derek started at 5 o’clock. She took her right hand and placed it on her left hand. It was once more covered in bandage. Meredith reached her good arm out, and placed it on Derek’s shoulder. “Derek?” she whispered as she strokes his arm.
“Derek,” Meredith said again a little louder. “Meredith?” Derek opened his eyes. She smiled to him. “Your awake,” he said and smiled. “How are you feeling?” Derek stood up and touched her left arm. “It’s sore, but I’m fine.” Derek didn’t smile anymore. “You know, Dr Burgeon didn’t do the surgery,” Derek began.
“Then who did?” Meredith asked. Derek sighted. “I did.” Derek took his hands to her face. “You will have to wait a few more hours before you can try moving your hand,” Derek continued. “Yeh,” Meredith replied.
“Your shift starts soon so you should maybe get going.” Derek nodded. “I will come by as soon as I can,” he said and kissed her softly. “Try get some more rest, okay?” Meredith nodded. “I will,” she said and Derek left.
Just as Meredith was about to drift back to sleep, some one knocked at the door. “Cristina?” Meredith said as Cristina opened the door and came in. “Hi,” she said and stepped closer. “So, you’re okay?”
“As okay as I can be,” Meredith said giving her a weak smile. “You should have seen Shepherd after the surgery yesterday. He was like some lost kid. He couldn’t even close up, he just left.” Cristina sat down in a chair, and they were both silent fot a while. “I have to tell you something, and when I tell you, you not get to react in anyway.” Meredith raised her eyebrows. “Okay?”
Cristina sighed. “Burke wants me to be religion,” Cristina said quickly. Meredith tried not to laugh, but she couldn’t hide that she was smiling. “Mer,” Cristina said angrily. “Oh, that’s, well that’s, it just that I never looked at you as the girl to pray to God and it’s just not quite you and…” Cristina interrupted her.
“Stop it.” They looked at each other for a second before they both brush into laugher. “No way. I’m not religious, and have no plans of becoming it either,” Cristina said as they continued to laugh. “Crap,” Cristina said as her pager went of. “Bailey doesn’t give me a freakin’ minute,” she said to her selves as she walked out of the door. Meredith turned in the bed and tried to get back to sleep, since Cristina had interrupted her nap. Thinking about Cristina and what she told her made her smile even when she closed her eyes.

Derek sat in his office. The hospital was a mess. They needed more rooms, a new OR and not to dimension some new instruments and a new MRI. “Chief,” Patricia came into his office.
“The meeting is schedule to 4 o’clock tomorrow. And Dr Warner told me to tell you that there are two patients waiting for a new liver, and we need to send someone to get them.” Derek raised his head.
“Get them from where?”
“Tacoma hospital and it has to be done today.” Derek sighed. “Send Dr Hays if he’s available.” Patricia nodded and turned to the door. “Oh, and one more thing. Dr Grey wants you to come by as soon as you can. I think she has something to show you.”
Patricia disappeared, and Derek looked down at his papers again. What was Meredith going to show him? Could she move her arm? Derek stood up left his office and headed for Meredith’s room, just when his pager goes of. He sighted and hurried down to the ER.
“Dr Shepherd, we have a 23 year old male. Shot him selves in his head after he had killed two kids. Pulse is weak, and he’s bleeding a lot.” Derek looked at Bailey with big eyes.
“Fucking fool,” Derek said just high enough so Bailey heard it. They moved him quickly into the EM, and starting to treat him. “He needs surgery Dr Shepherd,” Bailey said. Derek shook his head.
“This ass doesn’t deserve to live,” he said to him selves as they move him to OR 1 and prepped him for surgery.
Three hours later Derek walked out of the OR. He had survived, and he would wake up in a few hours. Derek went to get a cup coffee before he was going to see Meredith.
He hadn’t seen her all day, and had no idea how her arm was. “Hi,” Derek said as he stepped into her room. She was sitting up in the bed reading in some magazines. When she saw him, she putted the magazines down.
“Hi Dr busy,” Meredith teased. Derek smiled. “So how’s your arm doing?” Meredith tried not to look too exited, but she couldn’t hold back the smile. “I can move all my fingers now, and raise it up a few centimeters,” Meredith grinned as she saw Derek’s face.
“So Dr Grey, you’re working on next Friday then,” Derek said gently, and acted like a professional chief. Meredith laughed. “Stop it,” she said as he took out his hand to greet her.
“Hey, I’m trying to be a professional boss, talking to his intern here.” Meredith shook her head. “Dr Shepherd, right now I would have wanted some special treatment from my fiancée,” Meredith said acting like she was hurt. Derek couldn’t hold back anymore and grinned from ear to ear.
He bent down and kissed her softly at her cheek. “I would be more than happy to give you special treatment too,” Derek replied and kissed her again, but this time on her lips. Softly their lips touched, and Meredith felt numb. How cold she ever have doubt that Derek wasn’t the one? Derek stood up again.
“Work,” he whispered to her, and smiled. Meredith crossed her arms. “Derek, seriously.” Derek laughed. He enjoyed looking at Meredith right now. She wanted to just wrap her arms around him and kiss him forever, and Derek teased her. “Fine,” Meredith said. “Dr Shepherd when will I get discharged?” Derek got serious again.
“We need to observe your arm until tomorrow, and then if everything is normal you will get out tomorrow afternoon.” Suddenly Izzie came into her room all jumping and happy. “This is great,” she screamed and walked, no ran over to Meredith. “Okay, I’ll see you later,” Derek said and gave Meredith a quick smile.
“Don’t leave,” Meredith formed the words in her lips to Derek. “Work,” Derek whispered back.
“It will be so good having you back at work, you know. Derek was really good in there; you should have seen the surgery. And this other surgeon was like really jealous when Derek told him to leave, and Derek looked so great and…” Meredith shook her head.
“Izzie,” she said frustrated. “Oh, and did I tell you about Bailey’s surgery? There was a girl with three knifes through her foot and when we opened the scar up…” Meredith took her hand up to shout her.
“IZZIE,” Meredith screamed to her. “What?” Meredith leaned back. “Please stop talking.” Izzie wrinkled her eyebrows. None of them had realized that Cristina had stood there the entire time and watched them.
“What’s going on?” Cristina said and walked over to them. “I was just telling Meredith how great it is to have her back, and about the cool surgeries I have performed lately.”
Meredith smiled to Cristina. “Izzie tell me more about the surgeries,” Meredith said still smiling. “What?” Cristina whispered to Meredith. “I though you didn’t want to hear about all the crappy stuff from Izzie,” Meredith grinned. “It’s so boring that it might help me to sleep, so I’ll let her continue,” Meredith whispered back.
“Oh, good point,” Cristina said back and disappeared out of the room. Meredith leaned back again and closet her eyes. “Meredith? Are you listening?” Meredith opened one eye. “Yes, you carry on. I will just close my eyes and listen to you.”

Meredith closed her eye again. “Okay,” Izzie said before she continued with every detail of the surgeries, and about how great it would be when she came back to work.
Unknowing that her listener had fallen asleep long time ago!

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(Okay, time for a new update. Haven't had a chance latley, but anyway here you go. Enjoy!!)


MerDer story

A week since the surgery, Meredith is finally backed at work.
In the locker Meredith is talking to a frustrated Cristina. “I don’t get it. I don’t want to get religious, why can’t he just accept it and let it be?” Cristina slammed the locker door shut and sat down at the bench. Meredith just lifted her eyebrows.

“Grey, Yang to the clinic. O’Malley and Stevens will spend the day doing rectal exams and sutures. You were both late yesterday, and don’t complain. Karev you’re scrubbing in with Dr Hamilton, he has a very interesting surgery.”

Alex smiled evil to the rest of the group, and hurried out of the looker. “I seriously hate that guy,” Cristina said before she and Meredith headed to the clinic.“There’s absolutely no one here. It’s damn silent,” Cristina said as she and Meredith came to the clinic.

“Cristina,” Meredith said. “What? Just because we say its silent doesn’t mean that there will suddenly…” A door opened and three people came in. “She’s bleeding a lot, we need some help,” one of the ladies said. Meredith lifted her eyebrows. Cristina opened her mouth but shouted it as more people came rushing into the clinic.

“She fell of her bike, and hit a tree. She can’t remember what happened.” Meredith hurried over to the girl. “We need to page Dr Shepherd, just wait here,” she said and ran to get him.
“She has some breathing problems, and first we just though it was asthma but lately she has got trouble breathing while just sitting in the living room.” Cristina looked at the woman.
“Have you been feeling dizzy lately?” The woman shook her head. “Not at all, but I have had some problems talking normally without grasping for air.” Cristina wrote something down at the charge.
“We will take some tests and I will page Dr Burke.” The woman nodded, and Cristina left. “Dr Burke, Dr Shepherd,” Cristina came up to the two doctors. Meredith stood there too. “Uhm, Dr Burke we need you down in the clinic,” Burke nodded and followed her.
“What’s going o between them?” Derek said raising his eyebrows. “I think it has something to do with Cristina not wanting to be religious and…”
“Cristina, religious?” Derek said smiling. Meredith just shook her head.
“Anyway the girl needs a CT and we need to take some blood tests.” “Okay,” Meredith replied. “Oh, and if Cristina becomes religious, let me know. I think I will make a holyday.” Meredith gave him an angry look, and Derek disappeared with a smile on his face.“It’s clearly not my fault,” Cristina said to Meredith as the walked down the corridor together. “You said the S word Cristina.”

“I saying the S word do certainly not mean it’s my fault that people get hurt and comes to the clinic.” Cristina lifted her eyebrows. “That’s another sign that I don’t believe in stuff like that, I’m not religious.”

Cristina stopped for a second. “I can defiantly not be religious, and Burke says I just have to begin believing in things like that. Cristina Yang, intern at Seattle Grace hospital. A
competitive arrogant, and selfish intern who is a surgery junkie, doesn’t cook and doesn’t to laundry. How can she be religious?” Meredith smiled. “Derek doesn’t think you will be,” she said and looked at Cristina.

“You see? Someone gets it.” They got to the end of the hall and walked apart. Meredith headed back to Derek with the CT, and Cristina went to the cafeteria for a coffee.
“Derek?” Derek turned to face her. “The labs are back, but look at the CT.” Meredith gave Derek the scan. “Hm,” he said still looking at it. “It looks like she has commotion cerebral…” Meredith interrupted. “And that’s why she didn’t remember what happened.”“We need to observe her over the next couple of hours,” Derek said as he and Meredith walked together down to the clinic. “Look for vomiting, unconsciousness and fever.” Meredith nodded.
“This is a special case of this kind of head injury, and there may be a pressure at the brain and then we need to operate.” Meredith and Derek reached the room. “Mr. and Mrs. Davison?” Meredith said as they walked over to them.

“Hi,” Derek said. “I’m Dr Shepherd, the Nero surgeon.” They nodded back. “So we took her to the CT, and it showed us she has what we call commotion cerebral, which means she has a head injury. There’s a pressure at her brain, and we may have to operate her.” Mr. And Mrs. Davison looked a little shocked. “This surgery, is it a big one? Can she die in the surgery?” Mrs. Davison asked.

“It’s a minor prosier, but there are always some risks,” Derek said. Mr. and Mrs. Davison nodded. “We have to wait a couple of hours to see if she’s responding on the damage in her brain, before we can do anything.” Meredith took the chart up.
“Okay, Dr Grey here will page me if you have any more questions,” Derek said and left. Meredith did some quick fill out’s in the chart and headed to the nurse station. “I will come by later,” she said to the parents before she left.

Down at the nurse’s station she found Izzie, Cristina and Alex.
“Hi guys, what’s going on?” Meredith said coming up to them. “Mc Asshole just finished the surgery,” Cristina said, looking evil at Alex who just smiled. Izzie turned to face them too. “So did you hear about the intern exam where gonna have soon? I’ve heard it is in three weeks, and we only get to study for a week and a half.” Cristina and Meredith nodded.
“I think I will get the best results,” Alex said interrupting their conversation. “Ah, what makes you think that?” Izzie said sarcastic. “You failed your first intern exam,” Cristina said taking a sip of her coffee.
“I will beat you all this time, wait and see,” Alex said as he left still grinning. The girls just shook their head. “Pit, pit and pit,” George said coming up to the three girls. “Not a single real case, for god sake. Were surgeons not nurses?” Meredith gave him a fake smile.
“Were interns, all the crap jobs are going to us.”
“It’s like a big line between the interns and the surgeons. It’s like they’re over there doing surgeries, and were over here…”
“Running labs, suturing…”
“I hate being an intern,” Izzie ended.

Bailey came up to them. As she saw her interns standing there like a group of kids. “Why are you all standing here? MOVE.” The interns jumped out of their day dream and hurried on. Bailey just shook her head as she looked at them. “Interns,” she said to her selves before she carried on.As Meredith stood at the nurse station, she suddenly felt two hands around her waist. She smiled before she turned around to face her fiancée. “Dr Shepherd,” she said giggling. “Hi babe,” he whispered back to her. “Derek, stop it,” Meredith said pulling his hands away.

“So I don’t get to hover with my fiancée?” Meredith crossed her arms. “At work, no, at home…” Derek laughed. “What’s so funny?” Meredith said an angry tone. “Nothing, it’s just that you’re so sweet when you’re bossy,” Derek said smiling.
“I have to go,” she said not changing mood. As she started walking again, Derek called after her. “You want in on the surgery right?” Meredith smiled to her selves, and waved her hand as a yes. “I’ll page you,” Derek said as he walked away in the opposite direction.

Just ten minutes later, Meredith got paged by Derek. She ran to the girl’s room, finding nurses and doctors all over the room. “What happened?” Meredith said as she entered the room in a hurry.

“She collapsed, she needs surgery now,” Derek said and they moved her to the OR. Derek and Meredith got ready to scrub in. “We need to move the pressure at her brain as quickly as we can, not leaving any damage,” Derek said before he and Meredith stepped inside the OR, ready to open up the little girls brain.
Alright people, it’s a beautiful evening to save lives, lets have some fun.” Derek gave Meredith a nod. She was going to hold the clamp. Meredith moved over to Derek, who smiled to her. Even if she couldn’t see his mouth, she saw the smile in his eyes.The surgery where nearly over, but Derek had still his hands in the brain.
“I just have to get around the nerve, Dr Grey you have to hold the clamp study.” Meredith blinked her eyes a few times.

“Sorry Dr Shepherd,” she said and gripped harder on the clamp. Meredith suddenly felt something awkwardly in her body.
She felt dizzy, and tried hard to focus on holding the clamp study. “Dr Grey, focus,” Derek said looking up at her. Meredith felt she started pacing, and her heart pumped faster. Derek took his instruments out of the brain.
“Okay, I’m done here. Somebody close up? Nice work everyone."
Derek left, and Meredith putted the clamp down before she followed him.
As they stood in the washing room, Derek studied her. “What?” she said after a while.

“Are you okay? In the OR it looked like you were a little unfocused.” Meredith shook her head. “Sorry I’m just really tired, it won’t happen again.” Derek nodded. “You look a little pale, are you sure?” Derek moved over to her and planted his hand on her forehead.
She gave him a smile. “I’m fine Derek, really.” Derek smiled too. “If you say so,” he said and gave her a quick kiss. But when Meredith left the washing room, she wasn’t sure if she was okay. She took a deep breath.
“I’m fine, just fine,” she said to her selves, even if she knew deep inside that something was going on with her. “Instincts,” she said to her selves. “Instincts.”

In the end of the day,
All you can to is to believe your instincts
The rest will come by it selves
(A/N:Another chapter will be added, very soon:P Remember to REWIEW!!)
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A/N: New Chapter eventually...do I still have readers I would be thankful if they told me...update again soon If you guys want me to post!!!


“Honey?” Derek got out of bed and reached the bathroom. Meredith stood with the toilet, vomiting. “Are you sick?” Derek said coming closer to her. “I’m fine, just some of the food from last night I think,” Meredith said sitting back resting her head in her arms.


“You weren’t well in the OR the other day either, are you sure it’s not the flu?” Meredith shook her head. “I don’t know,” she said her voice were sleepy. Derek got down to his knees and took his hand on her forehead. Meredith leaned against Derek’s body, and sighted.

“You need more sleep, have you been awake the whole night?” Meredith stood up. “Almost, I couldn’t sleep since I felt dizzy all the time.” Derek got up too, and stood beside her. “We have a few more hours before we have to get up, let’s sleep,” he said and went back to the bed. Meredith followed him, and lay exhausted down at the bed.
Derek strokes her hair, and Meredith moaned in pleasure. She sank into Derek’s chest and soon she drifted to sleep.

“You got the flu?” Cristina said coming up to her in the locker room. Meredith just gave her a look. “What, I didn’t give it to you,” she said crossing her arms. Alex came running into the locker room, with George in his heals.

“I swear I will KILL you,” George said as Alex hurried into the bathroom. “What’s going on between Bambi and Evil spawn?” Cristina said to Izzie, who came in right after Alex and George’s little scene. “Apparently George is angry at Alex because he ruined George’s almost new date, and now he want’s to…”

“Kill Alex, yes we know,” Meredith and Cristina said at the same time.
“Stevens, you’re with Dr Danielson today, Karev you’re…” Bailey stopped.
“Oh, Alex and George are having a little fight…” Izzie said biting her under lip.
“There will be serious consequences for them both. Yang you’re with Dr Burke, he has requested you. Grey…” she looked up at Meredith. “You’re not working today.” Meredith lifted her eyebrows. “What?” Bailey shook her head. “Blame the chief, he told me you were sick so you’re not working.” Bailey left, and Cristina and Izzie looked at her with a surprised look.
“You’re sick?”

Meredith rolled her eyes. “I was sick, and now Derek thinks I have the flu.” Before any of them got to say something more, George and Alex came out of the bathroom. Alex with a blue eye, and they both looked like they couldn’t take one more step without falling to the ground.
“So you guys are finish beating each other? Just so you know, Bailey’s pretty angry at you both,” Izzie said before she, Cristina and Meredith left the locker. George collapsed down at the bench, and Alex was silent. “Fuck you,” George mumbled, without more strange to even make an angry face.
Meredith stepped into Derek’s office without even bother to knock on the door. Derek looked up from his paperwork, finding his fiancée standing in front of him and she didn’t look quite happy.

“You told Bailey I was sick?” Derek raised his eyebrows surprised. “Well, you are and I don’t want to you to get worse…” Derek didn’t get to finish before Meredith interrupted him. “Derek?” Meredith walked over to his side and sat down at his lap.

“Have you been throwing up since this morning?” Derek asked taking his hand to her cheek, looking her in her eyes. Meredith could never lie to those eyes, and looked down. “No, well yes but I feel fine now.” She tried to smile, but Derek new her. He kissed her forehead.

“You’re not fine until I say you’re fine.” He took her left hand up, and started taking the bandage off. “Squeeze my finger,” Derek said, and Meredith took her fingers around Derek’s finger and squeezed it. “Hold up two fingers.” Meredith did as he said, and held up two fingers.
“Good,” Derek said looking at the wound he had cut up twice. “Does this hurt?” he said squeezing the wound carefully. Meredith shook her head. Derek took the bandage on again, and strokes her left arm. “We’ll take it off in two or three days,” Derek said smiling.

Meredith, who had tried to be angry at Derek since he didn’t let her work, couldn’t hold back the smile anymore. “Thank you,” she whispered. “For what?” Derek said as he still strokes her arm. “For being the one to operate, even the second time,” Meredith said looking into his deep blue eyes; she had fell in love with the first time she had seen them.
Derek felt how his heart made a jump, when she said that. Looking into her eyes he saw how much she loved him, and that made him just love her more.

“My pleasure,” he said so she could barely hear him. He leaned into her, cupped her face in his hands. “I love you,” Derek said before he kissed her. Meredith broke the kiss.
“I love you too,” she said sinking into his chest. “Can I stay at your office?” Meredith suddenly said. “Well since your not working I guess you can, but I will be in surgery almost the entire day.” Meredith putted her head up from his chest.

“When do you start you first surgery?” Derek looked at his watch. “In fifteen minutes,” he said and sighted. “I will check on you when the surgery is done, and you get some rest.” Meredith stood up, and felt the dizziness coming back. Derek stood up, and grabbed her arm.
“You’re far from well,” he admitted, and followed her over to the couch. She sat down, and leaned her head back. Derek found some water to her just before his pager went off. “Surgery,” he said and bent down to her and kissed her on her cheek.
“See you later, and try to sleep,” he said and headed to the door.

Meredith lay at Derek’s coach thinking. She had been walking from the bathroom and back to the coach the past hour. She was feeling much better now, but something inside of her told her this wasn’t flu. She stood up, and headed to Derek’s private bathroom, the same room she had been in a lot lately.


But this time she didn’t need to puke, she needed a shower. She turned the water on, unclothed her selves and walked into the shower and her body finally relaxed. She was still tired, and she hadn't got much sleep. She closed her eyes and let the hot water stream down her face.

Derek was just finish with his second surgery. He was supposed to check Meredith after the first one, but got paged before he reached his office. Now he was on his way back to his office again. As he opened the door to his office he noticed Meredith wasn’t on the coach.
The carpet she had used lied there all messed up, but no Meredith. Just as he tough she had left, he heard the shower was on. He walked into his bathroom finding Meredith in his shower. He smiled when he saw her eyes were closet, and she lent to the glass.
“Feeling better?” Derek said leaning against the wall watching her. Meredith quickly opened her eyes when she head Derek’s voice. “Oh, you scared me,” she said, turning the water off. She stepped out of the shower and took a towel around her. She looked around in the bathroom searching for her clothes.

“Derek,” she said as she started looking. “Where’s my bra,” she said trying to see if he held it behind his back. Derek smiled. “Derek, give me it,” she said serious. “I will, but only if I get a kiss first.” Meredith rolled her eyes.

“Fine,” she said and leaned towards him. Derek wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. Their lips touched, but only for a second. “Now, give me the bra,” Meredith said stubborn. “I don’t have it,” Derek said grinning. “What?”

Derek took his hands so she could see them. “Empty, I don’t have it.” Meredith took her hands on her waist. “You did that just to get a kiss right?” Derek nodded. Meredith started looking again, when the dizziness once more came over her. Derek saw her, and grabbed her arms.
“Sit down,” Derek commando. Derek picked the bra up from the floor, and gave it to her. She was about to stand up again, but Derek stopped her. “Sit,” he said giving her the rest of her clothes.

“I’ll go find a pill for you, you’re not good.” Meredith sighted, and Derek left. She started to get dressed, but figured out it would be much easier if she stood.
Derek was finished for the day, and headed back to Meredith. She stood outside his office waiting for him. “So the chief has finally finished for the day?” Derek smiled. “How are you doing?” he said looking right into her green eyes.

“Much better,” Meredith said truly. “Good,” Derek said, and took her hand. “Ready to go home?”

“Defiantly,” Meredith replied, and they walked together out of the hospital. She knew something was going on, something was happening. But she couldn’t think about it.
She wouldn’t think about, at least not now.

You feel helpless, but you’re not,

You feel pain, but why?
If you were sick you would have known
It’s driving you crazy not to know
How can you explain,
What’s happening?

A/N: Like I said, if I still have readers and if I hear something from you, I will update before next thursday...defiantley:P So??...Tell Me!!
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“Want to study together? The intern exam is in one week.” Cristina stood over Meredith. “Are you still sick?” Meredith gave her a look. “What? I’m just asking since you’re lying on a bench and…”
“Its worse,” Meredith interrupted. Cristina lifted her eyebrows. “If you’re not sick, and you throw up…” Cristina stopped as she saw Meredith’s face. “Shut up,” Meredith said as she sat up.
“You’re oh my god, Mer…” The few people who had been in the locker room left.
“ARE YOU PREGNANT? SERIOUSLY? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?”
“HEY, it’s not like I wanted this to happen…” Cristina sat down beside her. “Does Derek know?” Meredith shook her head. “Are you going to tell him?”
“Of course, but not yet, I mean I can wait a few more days or weeks.” Meredith turned to look at Cristina. “Well what are you going to do?”
“With the baby? I don’t know. I have to talk to Derek and…” she sighted. “I don’t know, I know Derek want’s kids, but I think it’s too soon. Were now married yet, and I have the intern exam and then we will be residents.” Some one came into the locker. “Don’t you dare tell anyone…”
“The last time you said that you ended up in surgery…”
“Cristina,” Meredith said, and Cristina knew this was something she couldn’t tell anyone. “Fine,” she mumbled. “Lets go before we get late to rounds,” Cristina said and they left.
“Conrad.” Meredith entered the room. ”How are you doing?” she said and looked at his chart. “When will I get out of here?” he whined. “You just have brain surgery, and we need to observe you a few days.”

“Great, my parents really know how to suck up my life,” he mumbled. “They were worried about you, and tool you to the hospital…” Meredith said before Conrad interrupted. “I’m 18, and I don’t need them to tell me what to do anymore.”
“They are still your parents.”
“Don’t you try to defend them. They have ruined my chance to be a baseball player and I can’t ever run again. They didn’t do me a favor at all. Fuck them.” Meredith putted the chart down and walked over to his bedside. “You really shouldn't be mad at them, they’re just doing what they think is for the best. You’re their child.”
“I’m not a child anymore, and I don’t need them.” Meredith sighted. “They care about you…”
“Yeh, like making your life like crap, you know you are just like them, my parents. I really feel sorry for your child if you have one.”
Those words were stuck in Meredith and she looked shocked. Her patient had just told her that she would probably be a bad mother. Meredith took the chat up and walked to the door.
“This is just what they do too. Walk away.” Meredith took one last glance at the boy before she disappeared out of the room. He was just a boy who was having a hard time after brain surgery, and still she got wrapped by those words.
Would she become a bad mother? Would she be just like her own mother? The though made her sick, not to dimension the morning sickness she still had. She ran towards the bathroom, and bent down and emptied her stomach. She slide down to the floor, and slammed her head in the wall.
“Damn it,” she mumbled when her pager went off. 911 room 2234. That was Conrad. She didn’t want to go back there, but he was her patient. She stood up and ran to the room. “Dr Grey were have you been?” Bailey came up to her.
“When I page you 911, you will come immediately.” A nurse came over to them. “Dr Grey, he’s having a seizure you need to come.” Meredith gave Bailey a quick look, before she rushed into the room.
“So you want to study together or not?” Cristina said pealing a banana. “Sure, but were studying at your apartment, I can’t have Izzie and George around.”
“Burke’s apartment,” Cristina corrected. “So he’s accepting you choice about not being religious?” Cristina stopped chewing. “I though we were talking about you. Have you told Shep yet?” Meredith sighted. “I will tell him, but as I said not yet. It doesn’t matter if I wait a few days, or maybe a week, after the exam maybe.” Cristina smirked.
“What? It’s not funny, I will tell him.”
“Yeh, right. He won’t get to know it before your water brakes and you’re giving birth,” she said grinning. Meredith gave her an evil look and stood up. “You’re not telling anyone before I’ve told Derek,” Meredith threatens.
“Conrad?” Derek walked into the room. “You had a seizure, and that caused your tumor to move. We may have to operate you a second time, and remove the rest of the tumor.” Meredith stood behind Derek and watched the conversation. “Dr Grey here will check you later.”

“Oh, yeah Dr Grey how great.” The way he said great made Derek turned around. “Dr Grey?” he said to Meredith and they walked out in the hall. “You want to tell me what that was all about?” Meredith looked surprised at him.
“Are you mad at me of something?” Derek looked away. “O’Malley will take over for you,” he said before he turned around and left. “What?” Meredith said running after him. “You’re off the case Meredith,” he said angry.
“Derek what’s going on with you?” Meredith almost whispered. Derek just shook his head.
Was he mad at her? Had she done something? She sighted before she headed to the ER to find George. And had he called her Dr Grey?
“Grey? Don’t you have a patient?” Bailey said coming up to her. “Not anymore. He’s O’Malley’s patient now.” Bailey lifted her eyebrows, and Meredith suspected her to ask why but she didn’t. She just nodded and called over. “Dr Stevens get this guy to CT,” she turned around.
“Dr Grey you’re doing sutures,” she said before she stormed off to a new case. “I can’t wait to be a resident,” Meredith mumbled to her selves before she went to find her “super” cases. All the time thinking about Derek and what he had said. And not to dimension Derek had got her to sutures when he putted her away from her patient. “
Right now I hate you Dr Shepherd,” she mumbled in her lips.
“Suturing? Didn’t you have a patient?” Cristina said after Meredith had told her about her last four hours she had spent in the clinic. “I had a patient before Derek decided to give the patient to George, and send me on suturing.” Cristina opened her moth.
“What? You pissed him off or something? You didn’t fell asleep during…” Meredith cut her off. “No Cristina I didn’t fell asleep during sex. And I haven’t done anything to piss him off. I have absolutely no idea why he’s mad at me.” Cristina smirked.
“Well I got a really good surgery today.” Meredith gave her an angry glare. “Thanks I don’t want to hear about it,” she said before she got up from the stool, and left the hall. “I’ll keep it for later,” Cristina called after her and grinned. “Meet me 6.30 at Burke’s?”
Meredith waved her hand as a yes.
Derek was finish for the day, and looked for Meredith. Just as he entered the locker room, he finds her sitting there. Without a word to each other they left the hospital and drove home to Meredith’s house. “So?” Meredith began not looking at Derek.
“Are you mad at me for something?” Meredith tried, but still he didn’t respond. “Derek,” she said keeping her voice down. Derek just shook his head, not taking his eyes away from the road.
As they stepped into the house, Derek finally said something. “Why,” he said more as a sentence and as a question. Meredith turned to face him. “Why didn’t you tell me,” he said again this time with anger in his voice. Meredith opened her mouth to speak, but she was speechless. Did Derek know? Was he talking about her pregnancy? Had he heard her and Cristina talking?
“Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant,” Derek screamed to her. Meredith made a jump in surprise, before she stared straight into his dark blue loving eyes that were just filled with anger. “I, I was going to tell you Derek, really I was I just tough I should wait until after the intern exam and…” Derek shook his head, before he walked into the kitchen, and slammed the door shut after him.
“Derek, please…” she said coming after him. She tried to open the door, but it was locked. She stood there for a long time, waiting for him to open it but the door stayed close. In the end she sighted. “Derek, I’m going over to Cristina. Were studying together for the intern exam, but I will be back later.” She turned around and left.
Meredith knocked on the door to Cristina and Burke’s apartment. “Hey,” Cristina said smiling when she opened the door. Meredith walked inside, and found Izzie, George and Alex sitting in the sofa. “Cristina,” Meredith whispered.
“Why did you invite them?” Cristina grinned. “Because then we can have a competition, want to be on my team?” Cristina said smiling. Meredith shook her head.
“Fine, I’ll play your stupid game. Let’s show them why we became doctors.” Cristina grinned even more, and they took a seat beside the others and the game started. Meredith tried to have a good time and learn something, but her fight with Derek was in her head all the time.
Suddenly she got a message from Derek. She took her phone up and started reading it.
Talk later when you get back?
Don’t come too late.
L U,
D

Meredith made a little smile. Sure he was still mad at her for not telling her, but now he wanted to talk about it and that was a good thing. Besides L U, D stood for Love You, Derek.
“Are you alright?” Izzie said looking at her phone. Meredith smiled. “I’m just fine, let’s finish this.” She felt good now, after she got the message from Derek.
I’ll come home soon.
We’ll talk then,
L U too,
M

A/N: FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WANTS TO CONTINUE READING THIS FANFIC; CLICK ON THE LINK AT THE HOME PAGE(FRONT PAGE). THEN YOU CAN READ THE WHOLE STORY, AT LEAST ALL THAT I HAVE WRITTEN SO FAR:-)
ENJOY!!!

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A/N: Okay I didn't plan to update more here, but anyway here you go:-)






Meredith stepped inside her house. I was all dark, and she could nearly see the furniture’s.

“Derek?” she called as she took her coat off and left it on a chair. “Kitchen,” Derek called back. Meredith and stepped inside the kitchen door and found Derek sitting with the table sipping a cup coffee. She dumped down beside him, and took her first glare at him.

“I was going to tell you,” Meredith said quickly, stumbling in her words. Derek looked up at her before she continued. “I just though I should wait some
days, just think about it and…” They were both silent for a moment before Meredith continued.
“I found out this morning, and I got really shocked and I panicked cause I didn’t know how you would react or how I was going to tell the others and…I’m sorry and I ramble and well,” Meredith took a deep breath and looked hopeful at Derek. His face had light up, and he was showing a little smile. “How did you find out?” Meredith said suddenly.

Derek couldn’t hold back anymore and a big smile crossed his face. “It wasn’t hard not to, Cristina screamed out loud in the locker room as I just passed by.” Meredith nodded a little smile found the way to her face too. “But why did you tell Cristina?” Meredith shook her head. I didn’t she guessed it, and well Cristina just knows everything and…” Meredith cut her selves off. “I’m sorry Derek, I really am. I should have told you, you have the right to know.” Derek nodded and smiled again.

“Now I know.” Meredith smiled too. After a long pause Derek finally spoke. “So what are you going to do?” Meredith froze a bit, and her smile disappeared. She shook her head. “I don’t know Derek. You want kids and I want kids I think, but I don’t know if this is the right timing. I have the intern exam in a week and then I will be a resident and well…I’m rambling again too.” Derek studied her face, her eyes. He was searching for something, a little detail in her that told him what she though.
“It’s your decision Meredith, and I don’t want to pressure you or tell you what to do. But I want you to know that I will stand by you no matter what you decide, I will support you.” Meredith nodded and their eyes met. “Do what you feel is right, I won’t be disappointed.” Derek reached for Meredith’s hand and squeezed it.
“Just tell me things, okay? Tell what you decide and talk to me.” Meredith nodded and squeezed his hand back. “I will.”

“You told him?” Cristina said catching up with her in the elevator. “He found out,” Meredith replied as they stepped into the elevator.
“How?” Meredith laughed short. “Someone was apparently screaming it out in the locker room yesterday,” she said cold. Cristina wide opened her eyes, “Seriously?” Meredith nodded. “Seriously.” “So, what did he say?” Meredith sighted.
“He told me it’s my decision, that I should decide what I think is for the best and…he wouldn’t be disappointed” Cristina leant back to the wall.

“What was your first though when you found out? Keeping the baby? Was abortion your first though?” Cristina looke
d surprised at her. “Oh, uhm…” The elevator doors went open, and Cristina hurried out.
“I have to go, I’ll see you later,” she said quickly and disappeared around a corner, and the elevator doors shut close again.

“Gabriella Thompson, 17 have been having a seizure. Is 28 weeks pregnant. We are taking her for an exam later, to see if the foster is okay. Dr Grey will look after you, and I’ll be back later.” The attending said and left the room. “Gabriella, how are you feeling?” Meredith said studying her chart. “I feel just fine now, and the headache is gone.”

Gabriella was a sweet young girl w