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FanFic Story: Just Can't Live A Lie 2
(I will be posting the upcoming episodes here. Enjoy, and tell me what you think about each chapter...makes me happy)
Title: Just Can’t Live a Lie
Name of Chapter: Like in kinder garden
“Mr. Wellborn, I’ll come back to check on you later. Try to get some rest, we will operate this afternoon.” Derek left the room and headed for his office. He thought about Meredith all the time. As he went into his office Meredith sat there.“Hi, I was going to ask you about something.” Before she got a chance to continue Derek interrupted her.
“No actually I was.” Derek went towards her. “I love you, and I’m not going to let you go anywhere with some one who may hurt you.” He took her hand and kissed her softly.
“Derek, you know this is something I have to do, and I promise he will never understand if I’m not doing this alone. And if you do love me, you will let me do this.” She gave him a quick kiss as she left.
Derek sat down, and took up a picture of Meredith. She was smiling and were a red shirt on the picture. Suddenly Bailey came into his office.
“Shepherd, there’s a guy who just came in with a head trauma. He need’s surgery immediately.” Derek jumped up from his chair. “On my way,” He said as he rushed down to the EM.
When the day was finally over, Derek was on his way up to the board when Meredith came.
“I’m leaving now. I will go meet Tyler in two hours, so I’ll go home first.” She turned to go to the elevator when Derek called at her.
“I won’t be home before you go, but just be careful okay? And if he tries to do something, call…”
“Derek, its okay I can handle it.”
She walked around a corner and was gone. Derek looked at the board. It was empty. He was finish with the surgeries for today, and had just paperwork now. He putted his hands on his head as he studied the board.
“Shep.” It was Burke coming up to him. “Empty board,” Derek said as he continued to stare at the board in front of him. “Yeh. So what do you say about a drink later?”
“Ruff days does always need a drink,” Derek said smiling to him.
“I’m off in a half hour, what about you chief?” Burke looked at him.
“An hour, I think, just has some paperwork left.” Derek had lied to Meredith when he said he wouldn’t’ be off before she was going to meet Tyler. He just needed some time to think, and at Joe’s he could always think.
“Alright, see you at Joe’s then.” Burke left and Derek headed to his office to finish his paperwork.
It was getting dark when Meredith went to meet Tyler with the ferry boats.
She was ready, she couldn’t wait a day longer to tell him everything, and she just hoped he would understand. As she stepped out of her car, she saw him. He was standing where there was perfect vision to the ferry boats. She took a deep breath as she went up to him.
He smiled when he saw her, but she didn’t smile back.
“Tyler,” she said looking him in his eyes.
“We have to talk,” she continued.
“Meredith, I’m glad you shoved up. Did you get the rose?” He didn’t smile now.
“Yes, Tyler, I know you’re sorry okay? But this is it.” He looked confused at her.
“What do you mean?”
“Tyler, do you remember when we were in kinder garden and I told you about how a man was supposed to except a woman’s choices?
He was always going to except the choices she made, always show up, never do something she didn’t wanted, and most important, he was never going to hurt her.” When she said the last three words she saw anger in his eyes. Anger and fear, and sadness.
“And if you couldn’t hold these promises, you didn’t deserve her.” Yet Tyler didn’t even open his mouth. He just stared at her. “I have never told you this before Tyler, because I was afraid, afraid of loosing you as a friend.” Meredith looked at him again. He was all silent. It wasn’t how he used to be. He used to jell, if she said something like this.
“Tyler, I want you to understand. I want you to tell your selves the truth, face it. You don’t love me as a girlfriend, and you can keep telling your selves that but really you just don’t want to let go of me. I did love you once Tyler, but it’s over, we can’t keep this up anymore. Or lives has to move on, you will find another girl Tyler, and if you want to, we can go apart as friends. Maybe I will never going to forgive you for what you did to me, but I will give you a chance to do it up, do it right cause everybody deserves a second chance.” She took a deep breath before she continued.
“So if you want to do the right thing, you will walk away, and I do love you Tyler, even if you have hurt me, even if you have done terrible things to me, I do love you, but just as a friend. I have found another man, and I know you will find a girl too, but you have to let go of me. I know you’re not a bad person inside Tyler, so please prove to me, prove to your selves, that you can make the right decision, and you can be that good person I know you can be.”
Meredith felt good. Now she finally had let it out. All the pain and all the hate, it was all out.
It was silent for a moment before Tyler finally said something.
“If I could, I would have given you all the red roses in the world. If I could I would have turn the time back, if I could, If I could...”
“But you can’t Tyler. You can only make the best out if thing now.”
She hadn’t seen him like this in almost fifteen years. He had never been so speechless, never been so understanding, never.
“Meredith. If I had been the person I have been for ten years now, I would hit you right now, but I won’t, I won’t hit you again, ever.”
Meredith smiled weakly. “I knew the person inside of you would come back one day.”
They just stood there in the silent, Looking at the ferry boats. They had always done it back in Boston before he had started hitting her. It was like they both needed to see the sun go down one more time before they went apart, and this time for good.
“You will always be in my heart, Meredith.”
She looked up at him. “You will be in mine too.”
“You love him don’t you?” Tyler said looking at her.
“Derek? Yes I do.” She smiled. It was good the Tyler she knew so well was back.
He nodded. “He’s a good man, right? He won’t make the mistakes I did, I hope. You didn’t deserve what I did to you, Meredith.”
“Inside, I knew you didn’t meant it, Tyler. I just knew it. That’s why I’m here today, because I knew you would make the right decision.”
She leaned against him, giving him a quick hog.
“Meredith, just do me one favor before I leave.” She looked at him.
“Never forgive me.”
He had always said that when they went to kinder garden, and he had done something wrong.
With that he turned around. As he started walking, Meredith called after him.
“Just like in kinder garden,” she said looking after him.
“Just like in kinder garden,” he said before he went around the corner and was gone.
Meredith stood there for a moment, enjoying the darkness. He was gone. She was glad, finally he had understood, finally he had let go of her, finally, finally. At the same time she was a little sad too. He had been there for her all those years when her mother hadn't, been her best friend, helped
(Posting another chapter soon...def. today. Anyway what do you think about the chapter? Tell me)
(Chapter 7. Here it is. Like it? Want to read more? tell me...)
Title: Just Can’t Live a Lie
Name of Chapter: Just not Yet
“Where the hell have you been? The clock is 02.30am.” Derek was angry. She hadn’t answer when he had called and now she came home in the middle of the night.
“Derek, I’m sorry I should have called, but I just needed some time to think first.”
She went toward him.
“Well, what did he say?” Derek looked at her trying to read her.
“I told him, every thing, and well…” She couldn’t tell Derek she had forgiven Tyler, so she lied instead. “He’s gone now, he left.” Derek looked her in her eyes.
“He just left, he didn’t do anything, he didn’t hit you did he?” Derek was worried. He knew Meredith didn’t tell him the whole truth.
“No Derek, he didn’t. Actually he’s sorry; he didn’t mean to shoot me…” She said.
“Meredith,” He said looking at her with worried eyes.
She took a deep breath.
“Derek I’m sorry, no he didn’t hit me.” Derek went closer to her. “I’m sorry that you have been trough all these things, I’m sorry for leaving you and I’m sorry that I let you go last time. It’s not going to happen again, I promise.” Meredith took her arms around him.
” I’m sorry too,” she whispered as he held her tight.
“For what,” Derek said stroking her back.
“I’m just sorry,” she whispered back.
When Derek finally pulled her away, and headed to the door, Meredith stopped him.
“You can sleep at my house from now on if you want to,” Meredith said following him.
He smiled. “I will defiantly, but maybe we’ll wait a few more days.” She nodded back “Yeh, that would be nice.” Derek leaned toward her giving her a quick kiss, before he walked out of the door.
“See you tomorrow,” was the last thing he said before he shut the door.
As she went upstairs to go to bed, there was only one thing on her mind.
Did Derek still love her like he had before she had transferred to Mercy west?
“So you and Mcdreamy are back together?”
Cristina said as she peeled a banana.
“I, guess we are, I mean we’re trying…”
“That’s not funny Cristina.”
Cristina looked at her and stopped.
“It's just that you two are like egg and bacon.”
“What’s that suppose to mean,” Meredith said looking weird at her friend.
“That means…never mind. I just know you two will soon be in each others pants.”
“Cristina,” Meredith stopped walking.
“What. It’s true; Mcdreamy can’t stay away from you. This morning when he saw you coming into the hospital he couldn’t take his eyes of you.”
Meredith started walking again.
“So you’re not going to tell me what’s going on between you?” Cristina said walking after her.
“No, yes…well I…” Bailey came up, and Meredith stopped talking.
“You two are late.” Bailey said not satisfied at all.
“We were just…”Bailey interrupted them. “I don’t care what you were doing, my point is that you are late, soYang get started with your rounds, and Grey,” She looked at Meredith. “You’re in on the bypass surgery with me.”
Bailey turned around and walked away from them. “What about me Dr Bailey?”
Cristina said looking disappointed.
“EM with Karev after you have finish your rounds,” Bailey called back.
Meredith smiled to her friend.
“Oh, don’t try to…” Cristina said as her pager went off.
“Gotta go,” Cristina said as she ran down the hall.
“I will get a better case then you, just wait and see,” Cristina called back.
Meredith smiled again. Cristina was a surgery junkie.
“Are you coming Grey?” Bailey called after her. “The surgery is now, not later or tomorrow but now.” Meredith hurried after Bailey. “On my way.”
The day was over, and Meredith was on her way home.
Derek hadn’t called yet. As she sat in her car, ready to drive home, she got a message from Derek
Come to my trailer at 6.
I’ll make dinner.
She had to smile. He was always full of surprises.
It was only 15 minutes until the clock was 6, so she hadn’t time to go home and change first.
When she finally arrived, it was dark, and it was difficult to find the way. She parked the car and walked the last hundred meters to his trailer.
Just when she had got out of the car, she heard someone behind her. She got a little scared. She hated the dark, and out in a wood alone was scary.
“Heello?” She said starting walking toward the trailer she could barley see in the dark.
Again she heard some foot steps behind her. Quickly she turned around, but there was no one there. She started walking faster now, and finally she stood outside the door at the trailer. She knocked at the door, and when Derek opened it she hurried inside.
“Hey,” he said and smiled to her. “Hhey,” she said, still a bit shaking.
“Mer, are you okay? You are shaking.” Derek looked at her with worried eyes. “Um, yeh it’s just this scary wood and the dark…” Derek kissed her soft. “There's nothing out there.” She nodded, and he kissed her again. This time it was a long one. Soft, gently his tongue met hers.
“I’ve missed you,” he said with a low voice.
Meredith smiled. “I have missed you too,” she said smiling.
“I have made lasagna, do you like that?” Derek said looking at her. She was so beautiful. He couldn’t understand that a man had hit her, and hurt a girl like Meredith. With her kind green eyes, and her smile, and her hair.
“I love lasagna,” she said smiling even more.
“Good,” He replied. “Did you know that I have a love list?” Meredith looked at him.
“A love list?” She said smiling. “Yes, and lasagna is the second thing I love most.” As they took a seat with the small table Meredith asked him. “And what’s on your first place at the list?” she said as she took a sip of her whine.
“Well,” Derek started. “That must be you.” Meredith looked at him with tears in her eyes.
“Really?” She whispered.
Derek smiled. “Of course, Meredith I love you.”
A tear streamed down her check, and she looked away sad.
“Mer, is something wrong?”
She looked at him again. “It’s just that I want to tell you back, but I can’t.”
He nodded understanding. “Its okay, Mer. Tell me when you’re ready.”
She nodded and smiled. Grateful that he was so understanding.
Derek took a bit of lasagna on his fork, and putted it into Meredith’s mouth.
“Then my lasagna can be at your first place, at your love list,” Derek said smiling.
“And then I can be at the first place when you’re sick of lasagna.” Meredith laughed and took another bit of the lasagna.
“That’s a deal Dr Shepherd, just as long as I get to kiss you and not the lasagna.” Derek laughed too. “Even if the lasagna is made by me, I think I’m a better kisser. Don’t you think Dr Grey?”
Meredith sat closer to Derek now.
“Convince me,” Meredith whispered, letting her lips touch his, gently, and soft. It was a long kiss.
Now Meredith knew she really loved him too. She loved him so much, more than she had ever loved a man before, even more than she had ever loved Tyler.
Derek was the guy for her, she just new it.
But she couldn’t tell him, just not yet!
(Alright. here's chapter 8. AND check out the promo for next weeks all new greys anatomy. You will find it on the home page...ENJOY!!)
Title: Just Can’t Live a Lie
Name of Chapter: Flat Line
“Bet what?” Izzie said.
“I think Meredith and Mcdreamy are back together.”
George looked at Alex.
“Dude, no way,” Alex said leaving the closet.
Izzie tied her shoes. “I hope she is, I mean they are in love and you know…”
“Just like egg and bacon,” Cristina interrupted.
“Really, you think they’re back already? She left him to get some space right?”
George said looking at Cristina.
Cristina shut her mouth when Meredith entered the closet.
Izzie, George and Cristina looked at her with a “what’s going on” look.
“What’s the matter with you guy’s?” Meredith said as she took on her scrubs.
“You weren’t home last night.” Izzie said looking at her.
“Well, no I was…you know what I don’t have to tell you,” Meredith said as she met Cristina’s eyes. “Oh like we don’t know where you were.” She smiled and looked at Izzie.
“So, did you have some hot sex with Mcdreamy?”
Meredith turned around to face Cristina.
Soon after George, Izzie and Cristina couldn’t hold back anymore and started laughing hysterically.
Meredith just shocks her head.
“Okay, so we did and well were not…”
“Okay the society is over. Yang, with Burke, O’Malley you’re with Dr Webber, Karev you’re with…” Bailey looked at them.
“Where the hell is my last suck up?”
The interns looked at each other. “He left just before you got her Dr Bailey,” George said.
“Well then Grey you’re scrubbing in on Karev’s surgery with Dr Shepherd.
“What about me?” Izzie said a little angry. “I want in on a surgery too.“ Bailey walked out of the closet. “
You’re scrubbing in with me on an aneurism this afternoon. And don’t let me catch you fighting with patients. The ER are full with sutures and people with bleeding, we have a lot to do so move people.” They all hurried out in the hall, after Bailey. This was going to be a long day.
As they entered the ER there were people everywhere.
“Okay you know which doctor you are with, so find them and get an update.”
Bailey hurried over to a bleeding patient and the rest of the interns went to find their attending.
Meredith cached Derek when he came running out of an exam room.
“Meredith, I was looking for you.” He didn’t smile, he looked serious.
“Oh, well I’m your intern so…”
Derek interrupted her.
“No, you can’t be my intern, not today. Go tell Bailey I need Yang.”
After that he left.
Meredith wondered why he was acting to weird. He hadn’t even said hi to her. He had looked…Meredith couldn’t find words. Why had he put her of the case? Didn’t he want her in on the surgery, but in that case why?
She went down the hall as she saw Cristina.
“Cristina, you’re with Dr Shepherd, we have switched.”
Cristina looked weird at her. “What? Why?”
Meredith shocks her head. “I don’t know, Derek just said that we have.”
“Is he angry at you, I mean did you fell asleep during the sex or something? Cause when I fell asleep during sex with Burke he got really pissed of and didn’t let me in on his heart transplantation and…” Meredith stopped her.
“No, I didn’t, how could you think. What the hell…”
Meredith’s pager went off.
“Burke right?” Meredith said.
“Yeh, he has a girl with carditis.”
Meredith walked down to Burke’s OR, and Cristina headed to Derek’s case.
“Dr Yang, I need to talk to you for a second.” Derek walked up to her.
“Dr Shepherd why did you switch me and Meredith?”
Derek looked at her for a moment; now really know if he should tell her.
“Dr Yang. The patient I have is a guy named Tyler Harrison. He’s the one who shot Meredith.” Cristina looked surprised at him. “Oh, oh I got it. So what happened to him?”
Derek took a deep breath. “He has been in a car accident. He has head bleedings. I need you to do something for me, okay?” Cristina nodded.
“You can’t tell Meredith about this, okay? She can’t know it. I also need you to get me an MRI.” Again Cristina just nodded. She didn’t know what to say.
“Dr Grey, what are you doing here?” Burke asked as she walked up to him.
“Um, Bailey switched me and Cristina.” She didn’t tell him that it was actually Derek who had switched them.
“Okay, tell the nurses were coming, and Dr Grey.” Meredith turned around.
“It’s nice having you back at the hospital.” Burke smiled to her, and she smiled back. At least there was one attending who smiled to her. “It’s nice being back, Dr Burke,” she said as she walked away!
“What happened?” Derek came running into Tyler’s room.
“He had an attack,” the nurse said as she gave him air.
Derek looked at the MRI pictures. “Crap, he has a big blood clot and a slip of his memory. We need to operate now, tell them where coming.”
As Derek was getting ready to operate, Cristina came into the wash room.
“Do you think he’ll survive?” Cristina said putting on her own scrubs. Derek shocks his head. “It’s Hard to say. But if he does, he will probably have lost his short lived memory for good.” Derek stook a deep breat. How was Merdith going to react when he told her?
Chief, Dr Shepherd, we are loosing him.”
The nurse called from the OR, and Derek hurried in with Cristina in his heals.
“Okay, Dr Yang, everybody we have to get this clots out now. Come on people, move.”
“The blood clot is out, Dr Yang, how’s his heat rhythm?”
“80 over 40. Dr Shepherd we don’t have a pulse.”
Derek went around the table. “We have to shock him.”
Derek’s heart pumped faster. What if he loosed him? How was he going to tell Meredith? How would she response?
There was still no heart rhythm. “20 seconds.”
“Charge to 200.”
There was still no response. “Come on Tyler, do this for Meredith,” Derek whispered.
“Charge to 300.”
“45 seconds,” The nurse said.
Damn it Tyler, Derek thought. If this had been just some weeks earlier, he wouldn’t care if Tyler would have died, but now the last thing he wanted was him to die.
“Dr Shepherd, there’s no heart rhythm,” Cristina said.
“Charge again,” Derek said with a loud voice.
“It’s been 60 seconds Dr Shepherd…” Derek yelled.
“I said Charge again.”
The nurse charged one last time.
If he didn’t responded now, he would be dead.
“Come on, come on,” Derek said as he looked at the compression diagram.
It was all silent in the OR. All the nurses and the doctors were waiting for the responding.
Every second he could get a heat rhythm, and every second he could die!
The only sound in the room was piping from the machine, the machine all the doctors were waiting for to show heart rhythm and pulse again.
But right now it was just a flat line!
To be continued!
(For those of you who have been waiting for it...here it is. Chapter 9. Enjoy!!)
Title: Just Can’t Live a Lie
Name of Chapter: Never Again
Derek looked at the dead man who lied at the table. The guy who had hurt Meredith, the guy who had shot her, he was now dead, gone.
“Time of death 12.56.”
As he walked out of the OR he thought about Meredith. How was she going to react? Would she be mad at him, for not telling her when he came to the hospital?
When Derek was on his way to his office, Burke came.
Shep, you switched my intern with yours today. Any reason?”
Derek stopped. Where’s Meredith?”
Dr Burke looked at him. “What’s going on Derek?”
Derek rubbed his face before he answered. “It’s complicated Burke; just tell me where she is.”
“She’s in your office, waiting for you.” Burke said as he walked away.
Derek headed to his office, and when he stepped it he saw Meredith standing with his desk.
“Why Derek?” she whispered. Derek looked confused at her.
“Why didn’t you tell me this morning?” Derek walked towards her, and took his hand on her back. “You’re talking about Tyler right?” He said trying to see her face.
“He died, right? In the surgery?” Meredith said turning to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry Mer, I really am. I did my best, but the blood clot…” Meredith interrupted him.
“Its okay Derek, really it is, I just wish you have told me.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he held her tight. “He’s gone, Derek. He’s really gone.” Derek held her tighter. They just stood there and hold each other tight, and none of them said anything.
Love is hard filled with anger
Love is a rose who never die
Love is faith and true and you
Love keeps us together
Forever and ever
I know you love me
I know you do
Don’t try to run, Cause I’ll come after you
“You can’t run away Meredith, you can’t run away from me,” he said as he laughed.
“You know I will find you wherever you go I will find you anyway.”
“NO, NO” Meredith sat up in the bed and locked confused around her.
It had been a dream, just a dream and Tyler wasn’t there.
The trailer was dark, and silent.
“Mer?” Derek sat up.
Meredith was already out of bed, and on her way outside of the trailer.
“Meredith, where are you going? The clock is only 2.30am.”
Meredith couldn’t say something; cause then Derek would know that she was crying.
As she shut the door close after her, she sat down at a plastic chair that always used to stay there. The tears ran down her cheek as she thought about Tyler. She didn’t miss him; she didn’t feel sorry for him, she was angry at him.
After all those years he had hurt her she had never cried, not a single tear. But now when he was gone, she dare to. She dare to let her feelings out. The feelings she had kept inside for so long time, she finally let out. All the pain, anger, and frustration. All the wounds that he had made, she could now begin to heal.
The tears streamed down like never before, but she didn’t sub, she didn’t scream. She just let the tears stream.
Derek knew she didn’t feel sorry because he died, he knew that it was the pain he had made to her.
Derek got out of bed and putted on some clothes. As he reached the door, he just opened it enough to see her. He saw her where she sat; he saw her tears as they streamed down her cheek. He wasn’t going to go out to her and comfort her.
He knew that she needed some time for her selves, and when she needed him, she would come to him. He was only going to show that he was there for her if she needed him, when she needed him.
When Meredith went inside the trailer again she found Derek making coffee.
“Mer,” Derek said as he turned to face her.
Her eyes were red and swollen and she looked cold. “I fine Derek, but why are you making coffee at the middle of the night?” Derek smiled. “Well I was waiting for you and thought maybe you wanted a cup.” Meredith sat down with the little table. “Thanks, I need a cup I think.” Derek reaches her the hot cup with coffee and took a seat beside her.
“You know, I’m here. If you need me or want to talk to me I’m here.” Derek strokes her back. “Derek, I just need some time to figure things out.” Derek nodded. “I know, I’m just saying it.” Soon after Meredith fell asleep. Her head to Derek’s chest, and her arms in his. Derek lifted her up and carried her to the bed. As he had laid her down, he lay down beside her and soon he drifted into sleep as well.
When Derek woke up next morning, Meredith was gone.
He found a piece of paper on the desk.
Had to go early to the hospital!
See you there!
He wondered why she had to go early. The intern shift didn’t start before 4.30 am and she had left already, and the clock was only 4.00am.
He made coffee, took a shower and drove to the hospital an hour later.
As he headed to his office, a nurse came.
“Chief, the paper work for the day is on your desk. After that the board needs to be updated.” Derek nodded. “Tell Dr Burke to cancel the bypass today, and let him know there are two people with organic heart disease who needs surgery this afternoon.”
The nurse wrote it down in a book before she continued. “Oh, and Dr Bailey said…”
A voice Derek recognized very well interrupted the nurse. “Dr Bailey says she needs to talk with the chief, now.” Dr Bailey came up beside them, and the nurse disappeared. “You really know how to scare people,” Derek said looking down at the little women with the big mouth.
“Well some one has to take care of this mess of a hospital,” she said as she started walking to Derek’s office.
“Well what do you want?” Derek said as the where in his office.
“I want you to get more nurses; we need at least five or six scrub nurses. And for the record, two of my interns is missing.” Derek looked weird at her. “Missing?”
“Yes, missing. Karev and Grey were sent down to the pit early this morning, and well now I can’t find them.” Derek looked worried at her. “Did you page them?” Bailey started walking around in the office. “If I paged them? A thousands times, at least."
Derek stood up from his chair. “Well see if they show’s up later, but send them straight to my office as soon as you see them.” Bailey nodded, and went out of the door. “By the way, a patient came in yesterday, and I heard somebody said that it was the guy who had shot Meredith?” Derek looked at her.
“Yes, he had been in an accident, and during the surgery he died.” Bailey nodded again. “So he got what he deserved.” She left the office, and Derek sat down to his chair again. “Yeh, he got what he deserved,” he said to him selves. He did, bailey was right.
“Do you really think this is a good idea Alex?” Meredith said as they were almost down to the mortuary at the hospital. “You wanted to see him, and no one will see us.” As Alex was about to open the door, Meredith stopped him. “Maybe we should go back this is…” Alex interrupted her. “No, were not going back now.”
As he opened the door, the feeling of death caught them. The room was all dark, and everywhere there were death people lying covered with plastic. “So what’s his name again?” Alex said as he started looking for the right one. “Tyler, Tyler Harrison.”
Alex went further into the room. “Ah, found it,” he said as he read. “Tyler Harrison, dead 12.56…” before Alex got a chance to read more, Meredith stood beside him. “Its him Alex, can I mean can we take the…”
“The plastic off?” Alex finishes for her. “Well we can if you want to, but are you sure, I mean he will look…”
“I know Alex, its okay; I just need to see his face one more time.” Alex nodded and started to pull the plastic off.
Meredith knew that if she didn’t face Tyler just for the last time, he would never be out of her head. All the words and all the pain …she didn’t know why, but she just knew that she had to.
When Alex had removed the plastic from is face, Meredith stopped him. “That’s enough; I just need to see his face.” Alex nodded. “I’ll wait outside.” As Alex was gone, Meredith turns to look at the white lifeless face.
Tears streamed down her cheek as she whispered all the anger.
“You hurt me Tyler, and you have hurt me for the last time,” was the last thing she said before she took her hand and stroke him over his cheek. “You’re not going to hurt me again. Never again, Tyler never again.”
She took her hand away, took the plastic over the body and left. She felt good now. She had finally said it out to him, and this time he couldn’t say something back, he could never say something back!
(Here you go. Chapter 10. Posting another chapter later today. Enjoy)
Title: Just Can’t Live a Lie
Name of Chapter: Ready
“We, well we can’t tell you…” Bailey interrupted them. “You can’t tell me? You can’t tell me what you two where doing that were more important than doing your job?”
Meredith looked at Alex not know what to say.
“Well, then you can go tell the chief. He’s waiting for you at his office. And after that, you two can spend the day in the pit doing the sutures; the chief will give you the other punishes.” She walked away and Meredith and Alex stood looking at each other.
“We have got us into a big mess,” Alex said as they made their way to the chief’s office.
“Come in.” Meredith and Alex entered the office.
“So, can one of you tell me where you have been?” Derek said looking serious at them.
“I think Meredith want to tell you alone, I’ll wait outside.”
Alex went outside, and Meredith sat down. “Derek,” Meredith looked at him.
“Why did you go early this morning? Has it something to do with where you were now?” Meredith nodded and tears showed up in her eyes. “I’m sorry Derek, we did something we shouldn’t have done, but I just needed to, I just needed to see…”
Derek stood up and walked around his desk to give her a hog. “Mer, did you go to the mortuary?” Meredith just nodded and took her arms around him.
“I just needed to see him one more time.” Derek strokes her softly at her back.
“I understand, Mer but you know Bailey. She won’t be happy about it, but I have to tell her.”
She didn’t say anything. As she pulled away Derek gave her a quick kiss. Meredith smiled.
“You know you can’t kiss me at work Derek.” Derek smiled back. “I’m the chief, so I decide that.”
Meredith turned to the door. “I have to get down to the pit before Bailey explodes,” she said smiling again.
“Shall I send Alex in?” Meredith said before opening the door. “Yes, I have something to say to him.” Meredith nodded as she leaved. “Oh, and I’ll see you after work, my place today?” Meredith said, and after a nod from Derek she shut the door.
Derek sat down again. He wanted to ask why Meredith wanted to see Tyler again, but he wanted her to tell him when she was ready. He wanted to give her time, he knew she deeded it.
“Chief?” Alex came in. “I know where you were, and why, but I need you to do a favor for me.” Alex nodded.
“I need you to look after Meredith, and don’t let her go down to the mortuary again.” Alex nodded again. “Okay, sure.” And then he disappeared.
Derek didn’t thought she would go down there again, but just for sure he wanted somebody to stop her and he wasn’t there to do it so Alex had to. Derek sat down do start his paperwork for the day. He had a lot to do, and Bailey wouldn’t be happy if he didn’t get more nurses soon.
“So, Mrs. Darrel, what happened to your arm?” Meredith said as she washed the bleeding cut.
“I was cutting salad, and then I suddenly cut in my hand instead.” Meredith looked at her. “But the cut is right under you elbow, how did you do that?” Mrs. Darrel looked at Meredith with sadness in her eyes.
“My right eye hasn’t been so good lately and when I was making lunch today I could barley see anything with my right eye. First I just thought I had just got something on it, but after I cut my selves…”She shook her head.
Meredith nodded. “Okay, so Mrs. Darrel, I will get an attending to look at it. We have a brilliant Nero surgeon Dr Shepherd. He’s also the chief, and he’s a very nice man. I will page him.” The women nodded.
“Dr Grey?” Derek came up to her. “You paged?”
“Yes, I have this woman Hailey Darrel. She has cut her selves in her arm after making a salad, and the cut is right under her elbow.” Derek interrupted her. “Her elbow?”
“Yes, and she said she has barley seen something with her right eye lately. So I think you should take a look at her eye.” Derek nodded, and they walked up to the woman.
“Mrs. Darrel, I’m Dr Shepherd. Dr Grey told me that your left eye hasn’t been good lately, so we will take you for a CT. But first I have to ask you, how long have your eye been like this?”
The woman looked down. “About three months now, but when I made lunch today I could barley see something at all, and it has never been that bad.” Derek nodded and took a look at her eye. “I can’t see that there are any changes in the pupil, but a CT will show us if there’s a reason that you don’t see well at your right eye.”
“Oh, so what do you think it can be? I mean is it serious?” Derek looked at Meredith.
“Well we won’t know for sure before we have the CT, but It can only be something that will go away by it selves. But it can also be a tumor at your nerve.” The woman nodded. “Okay, so when are you taking me to the CT?”
“As soon as possible,” Derek said before went to the door. “I will go and schedule a CT, and then Dr Grey will take you to the CT room. If you have any questions Dr Grey will page me, okay?” Derek turned to give the woman a smile, and then he looked at Meredith and gave her a smile too. Derek went out the door and was gone.
“You have right, Dr Shepherd is nice,” the woman said smiling. She was about 35 years, had long blond hair, and dark blue eyes. She reminded Meredith about her friend at high school, Mary Beckon.
“I will come back and check on you later, okay?” Meredith left the room, and headed for the cafeteria. She had to find Cristina. She had so much on her head and she needed to tell someone, and Cristina was the perfect person to tell.
“Elbow?” Cristina said looking weird at her.
“Yes, her right eye hasn’t been good lately she said, and when she cut her selves under the elbow when she made a salad, she did barley see at all.”
Cristina took a bite of the sandwich. “So you’re in on the surgery?”
“We won’t know if there’s a tumor yet...” Cristina interrupted her. “She cut her selves right under her elbow, she is having a tumor,” Cristina said looking serious.
Meredith looked down at her food. “You know the guy who shot me last week?” Cristina nodded.
“He died under a brain surgery yesterday. He had been in a car accident.” Cristina lifted her eyebrows. “Oh, that guy?” Meredith looked weird at her. “You know him?”
Cristina looked guilty. “Yeh, well I… I was in the surgery with Shepherd and…”
Meredith looked angry at her. “You know he died and you didn’t even tell me?” Cristina took up her banana and started playing with it. “Well, yeh I mean Shepherd told me not to, and well…”
Meredith’s pager went of. “Its Mrs. Darrel, she’s going to the CT now.” Meredith went up to Mrs. Darrel’s room, finding an older woman with her.
“Oh, you must be Dr Grey,” the older woman said shaking her hand. “Yes, I’m going to take Hailey to the CT now, and you are?”
The older woman smiled. “I’m Ann Darrel, I’m Hailey’s aunt.” Meredith smiled and turned to Hailey. “Mrs. Darrel, I’m going to take you to the CT and after an hour we will get the results who will tell us what’s coursing the bad sight at your right eye.”
The older Mrs. Darrel looked at her niece. “I will wait for you,” she said as Meredith and Hailey Darrel went out of the room.
The day was over and Meredith sat in Derek’s car, waiting for him. Derek said she didn’t get to drive yet, because of her arm.
“Hey,” Derek said as he took a seat in the car. “So Darrel is going home tomorrow?” Meredith said smiling to him. “Yeh, the tumor is gone, so we’re keeping her tomorrow just to be sure.” Meredith nodded. “So we need to talk,” Meredith said looking out the window. “Yes,” Derek said and they drove home in silent.
Meredith knew she had to tell Derek what she had on her mind, and she felt ready to tell him something she had wanted to tell him in months. He had told her, and now she felt ready to tell him back, she had to tell him back and she wanted to. Tyler was gone, out of her life, forever and she had said goodbye, told him everything she had wanted to tell him in so long time.
It had felt good to tell him, even if he was dead when she told him, it was like he had heard her. Her new life could finally start. She knew she was ready, ready for everything.
(Okay, here you go. This is one of my favourite chapters...Enjoy!)
Title: Just Can’t Live a Lie
Name of Chapter: I’ll Tell You Everything
Meredith and Derek sat with the table at the kitchen. It was quiet in the big house. Meredith got a cup coffee and took a sip before she started.“Okay, I want to tell you everything that has happened since I met Tyler. I don’t want to lie to you, so I’m going to tell you from the beginning. Please just listen, and when I’m finish you can speak.” Derek nodded and took a sip at his coffee.
“Okay, so...” Meredith didn’t know how to start, but decided to tell him how they had first met.
“When we moved to Boston I was around five years. Tyler lived in the house next to us, and we went to kinder garden together. After high school Tyler asked me to be his girlfriend, and first I thought he just wanted to have a “girlfriend” but he meant it. After a while we broke up, and when I was 18 we got together again this time more serious.”
She took a break before she continued. “After some years we really fell in love with each other and well…”
She stopped again, not know if she wanted to tell him. "And?” Derek said looking curious.
“I got pregnant,” Meredith whispered. “I wanted you to know, and I felt that I had to tell you. I don’t want to keep secret's for you Derek, and…” Derek took her arm.
“It’s good that you’re telling me this Mer, and I’m agreeing we can’t lie to each other.” Meredith looked down. “When I knew it, I didn’t tell Tyler. I couldn’t have a baby at 18, and my med school and everything, so I…had an abortion.” Derek lifted his eyebrows. “You never told him did you?” Derek asked.
“No, no I didn’t. Not before…”
“Not before the mortuary?” Derek said, reading Meredith’s mind.
“Yeh, I…It sound’s crazy to talk to dead people, but I just had to…”
“I understand,” Derek said with a little smile at his face. “I know you had to, and its fine.”
Derek kissed her, soft quick before he stood up. “Want to get out to dinner?” Meredith had to smile too now.
“Dinner sounds great.” She ran upstairs to get dressed and Derek called after her. “Put on something gorgeous, and I’ll take you to a special place.” Meredith smiled from ear to ear. “Okay, everything for you Dr Shepherd.”
Derek sat ready in his car, hoping Meredith was ready for this. He had wait for weeks to do this and wanted her to be ready before he moved forward. Tyler was gone, he knew it and Meredith knew it. Derek turned to see Meredith stepping into the car. “Where are we going?” Derek smiled mysterious. “Can’t tell you.”
He had ordered a table a special place where he knew Meredith would like it. Everything was ready, and when they stepped out of the car, he banded a shawl over her eyes so she couldn’t see where they were going. “Derek,” Meredith said reaching for him. “Why do I have to have this over my eyes?” Derek smiled and took her arm. “Wait and see.”
Derek took her up to the top, and after a quick talk to the waiter, he found the table. It was outside with the perfect view to Seattle, and the ferry boats. Derek took her shawl away from her eyes.
“Oh, Derek…its, its beautiful.” Meredith turned to meet his eyes. “You did all this for me?” Derek lent toward her, and kissed her gently.
“Everything for you Dr Grey,” He said laughing. Meredith turned to look out over the ferry boats. “It’s so… did you know after all the years I have lived in Seattle I have never been to the Space Needle before?” She turned to him again.
“Well, you’re hungry? The food is ready.” Meredith smiled turning to the cozy table.
“I’m very hungry actually.”
As they sat and ate their steak, Derek only thought about one thing. Was he going to do it or not?
It was a beautiful night. The sky was clear and it was almost dark now. it was quiet, and the moon was up.
“Thank you,” Meredith whispered as she sat close to Derek. “Nothing to thank for,” Derek said holding her tighter.
He was going to tell her, everything. he stood up, and took her arm to make her doing it too.
They stood close, and looked in each others eyes.
“Meredith when I met you, it was like I knew it, knew that it was you, that you was the one for me. The first time I saw you I felt like I’ve never been happier. You’re always making me smile, even if I have a bad day. Every time I see you I melt inside, and when you’re not there I’m thinking about you. You’re so incredibly stubborn, keep’s me in line, your hair smells so good, and you’re a kind talented girl.
You have a big heart, even for the small person you are, and I love you. I love you more than a thousands words, more than I have ever loved a person before.
You’re it for me Meredith; I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I will promise to love you and take care of you, and be there for you whenever you need me.
Meredith I'm ready to take a step forward and I hope you are too. I have loved you from the very first time I saw you, and I will always love you.”
Derek stopped and looked Meredith in her eyes. He knew it now. He knew he was going to do it.
He took out a little box from his jacked, and opened it.
“Meredith Grey; will you marry me?”
Will be continued!!
(I'm evil I know. Want me to post another chapter today?Let me know...)
(I'm leaving tomorrow and will be gone for three days, so here's another update for you guys. Tell me what you think, please...)
Title: Just Can’t Live a Lie
Name of Chapter: This Kiss
Derek stood on his knees waiting for an answer from Meredith.
Meredith was speechless. Derek had just asked to marry her, he had and...Oh my god, she thought. She loved him so much, and wanted him. Meredith got tears in her eyes. Derek looked worried. Was she going to say no?
Her tears fell down her cheek, and a smile planted on her mouth.
“Derek, I, I…Yes Derek yes I want to marry you…” Before she got a chance to say something more, Derek putted the gorgeous ring at her finger and stood up. Derek smiled back before he lifted her up and swung her. She laughed, he laughed.
“I love you so much Meredith.” Meredith smiled as more tears welted down her cheek. It was happy tears, she was happy very happy. “Derek Shepherd,” she said leaning against him.
“I love you too. So much…” Derek interrupted her, and his lips met hers. Meredith jumped inside. She had never felt like this before. Kissing Derek had never been more wonderful, more fantastic. Now she knew it. Meredith wrapped her arms around his neck.
“Derek, I love you so much, and you have no idea how I have wanted to tell you and…” Derek pushed her away, but just as much as he could see her eyes.
“I know Mer; I have seen it in your eyes all the time. And I love you too.” Derek hogged her, and held her tight.
“Thank you so much for believing me Derek. I knew you would understand, and this I just…and the beautiful ring and…”
Derek felt his tears was about to come too. “A beautiful ring for a beautiful girl,” He said as he kissed her again. She had said yes, and now she said she loved him. Derek’s heart jumped.
“Oh and there’s one more thing,” he said a little secretive.
“What?” Meredith said looking at him with big eyes. Derek winked at the waiter, and suddenly three men came towards them. One of them had a bottle of champagne, one of them had a big cake, and the last one had a present in his had.
“Derek what’s going on?” Meredith whispered. Derek leaned to her, and gave her a quick kiss.
“You though I had forgot?” he said with a big grin. “Forgot? Forgot what?” Meredith said still looking very confuse.
Suddenly Derek together with the three men started singing the birthday song. Meredith felt tears streaming down her cheek as she watched them. No one had ever song the birthday song to her. When she was a little kid, Tyler had never been at her birthdays and her mother was never home. As they had sung finish, Derek gave her the present.
“Happy birthday Meredith,” he said reaching her the present. “Derek, this is...”
She hadn’t words. All this he had done to her, he had even remembered her birthday that she had almost forgot her selves. “Open it,” he said smiling.
Meredith looked from him and down at the red present. As she tears of the paper, she almost lost her breath. “Derek, oh my…”
Derek took her arm. “What do you think?” He said as he saw the expression of her face.
It was a picture of the most gorgeous wedding dress Meredith had ever seen, and on the top of it, it was a beautiful jewel.
“I don’t have words Derek,” she said as more tears ran down her cheek.
Derek smiled. “But don’t misunderstand. It doesn’t mean that we need to get married now or anything,” he said a little scared that Meredith would freak out.
She smiled. “I don’t have words to you Dr Shepherd, but I have this,” she said as she leaned to him, and their lips met.
“This kiss worth more than every word in the world Meredith,” And Derek meant it too. He had never got a kiss like that before. A kiss had never been so perfect. This kiss told him what she felt for him.
“So, what do you say? Cake and champagne?” Derek took her big grin as a yes, and he went to get the champagne.
For your birthday and our first day as engaged.” Derek took the glasses with champagne and gave one to Meredith. After they had drunk the champagne, Derek got some cake to them. He putted some cake at his fork and putted it in Meredith’s mouth. “You know what?” Meredith said looking at the cake, and then at Derek.
“I think my love list is a little changed.”
“Yeh?” Derek said taking a bit of the cake.
“Yes, I have switched the second and the first place. So that means you’re on the first and your delicious lasagna is on second.” Derek had to laugh. “Oh that was good, but I think my lasagna is pretty good to have in case anyway.”
Meredith laughed too. “Yes, probably, but I think I found out that you were the better kisser,” Meredith said taking a bit of the cake too.
When the waiter came back, the clock was almost 12.00am, and he told them that they closed now. Meredith and Derek walked happily out of the elevator door in the first floor.
Meredith carried her jewel around her neck and with the ring safely on her finger.
“So,” Derek said when they were outside.
“This has been an incredibly night; Meredith said smiling and looking up at the top of the Needle. Derek lent toward her, to kiss her but Meredith pushed him away.
“If you want a kiss, you have to catch me first,” she said and started running up into the park. Derek watched her, and soon after he ran after her. He could hear that she was laughing.
This was his Meredith. This was the woman and his love of his life. When he finally catches her, he swung her up in his arms.
“Derek,” she said laughing more. Derek kissed her. It was long, soft gently, and Meredith could feel that she was happy. Happy like ever before. She had found the right guy for her. She had found him a long time ago, but first now she realized it.
This kiss told her, this kiss told him.
They were meant for each other!
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