Dr. Cristina Yang's Quotes, Quips, and Wisdom

Those busy surgeons always manage to have astute observations about love, life, death, and relationships (natch). Sometimes profound, sometimes funny, but always worth remembering--so let's collect them here! (Click EasyEdit)

CRISTINA: "You can buy furniture for 99 cents! Look at this chair. This is America, man!"
JOE: "No, that's Taiwan."


PRESTON: "Meredith. This is about Meredith."
CRISTINA: "She doesn’t know yet."
PRESTON: "Meredith?"
CRISTINA: "She’s my person."
PRESTON: "Right. And if Meredith doesn’t approve, then what?"
CRISTINA: "This... this is not about getting her approval, it's about…"
PRESTON: "What?"
CRISTINA: "Telling her makes it, makes it…. If I murdered someone she’s the person I’d call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor."
PRESTON: "Okay, now you’re likening someone here to a corpse. I’m done."
CRISTINA: "She’s my person."


"Everyone’s back. Everyone’s back except her. And I listen to her. Everyday, about her McLove life. Her McDreamy, her McCrap. And the one day, the one day I have a thing she disappears."


"There are pylons? There're pylons on people?"


CRISTINA: "Meredith, I have a thing... news."
MEREDITH: "You’re not pregnant again, are you? Because I can’t handle the extra months of bitchiness."


"Dr. Grey, I need to ask you. Will it get in my way? Can I have both? Can I be a great surgeon and have a life? Because there is this man who just asked me to marry him and I know you tried to have both, but you split up with Meredith's dad. And I know this is none of my business."


CALLIE: "How's George?"
CRISTINA: "Dealing, I guess."
CALLIE: "He sure has a voracious appetite."
CRISTINA: "Some people bake. Others eat."
CALLIE: "No no no. I don't mean that kind of appetite. I mean the other appetite."
CRISTINA: "Oh okay. We're not friends. You and I. We're not friends, so please don't talk to me about what George eats."
CALLIE: "I was just concerned and I thought you'd be concerned, but you know what? Forget it. I don't like you."
CRISTINA: "Oh. Now my feelings are hurt."


CRISTINA: "I was right. I swear I really believe what I did was right. I don't want you to forgive me. Frankly, I'd find it patronizing if you did. Because... while I know I was right, you think I'm wrong. Which doesn't matter... because... I'm in this. I'm in this for the long haul. And I'm in this to finish the race. So if that means I don't win this one, then fine. I don't win. You win. I'm talking. See? I'm talking first. You win."
PRESTON: "Marry me."


CRISTINA: "There's a club. The Dead Dads Club. And you can't be in it until you're in it. You can try to understand, you can sympathize. But until you feel that loss... My dad died when I was nine. George, I'm really sorry you had to join the club."
GEORGE: "I... I don't know how to exist in a world where my dad doesn't."
CRISTINA: "Yeah, that never really changes."


"Could you stop looking at me like that? It's creepy and it makes me feel like you haven't been fed."


"As doctors, we know everybody's secrets. Their medical histories. Sexual histories. Confidential information that is as essential to a surgeon as a ten-blade, and every bit as dangerous. We keep secrets, we have to, but not all secrets can be kept."


MEREDITH: "Derek's camping. Taking time. Getting space."
CRISTINA: "Prestons do not go into the woods. A guy named Preston is gonna get his ass kicked by a squirrel."
IZZIE: "It's basically a slumber party. They do it outside, we do it inside. It's really the only difference."


CRISTINA: "So, who's the father?"
MEREDITH: "I can't be pregnant, can I?"
CRISTINA: "Aw, a McBaby!"


"I can't believe this! She has two dates and I have a wife."


"I'm knee deep in coffee, and he's on the sofa playing with himself. And not in a good way."


"Bailey's on the warpath ... not the German warpath. The hospital warpath."


"You're all dark and twisty inside."


"If I miss a real procedure because of this case, they're gonna call me 007, because I killed you."


"That's Izzie. She's the vice president of fantasyland."


CRISTINA: "Uhh... Sydney? I just wanted to... uhhh ... um... apol... apologoshigize for... you know...overstepping... uh... sorry..."
SYDNEY: "Well, now there's the compassion I was looking for! Apology accepted. Okay, you wanna hug it out?"


CRISTINA: "What've you got?"
MEREDITH: "Bomb in a body cavity."
CRISTINA: "Man! All I have is Bailey's husband's open brain."


"I think you should decide to live. Live so you can become a doctor, and you can find a way to do heart transplants without someone having to die. Live so you can grow up and have kids and raise them not to believe in Santa. That would piss your mom off. Just decide to live. Because in your case, dying really isn't the best revenge."


CRISTINA: "I am a 55 year old man. I'm nauseous and I can't stop throwing up."
ALEX: "Forget it, alright. I didn't ask for anybody's help."
CRISTINA: "Look, evil spawn, you can nurse your pride -- the key word being nurse -- or you can pass your test and be a doctor. Up to you." ALEX: "Any abdominal pain?"
CRISTINA: "Yes, from my giant fat belly all the way to my back. Oh, and I'm drunk. Hiccup. Hiccup."


"When you're feeling emotional... sometimes it's hard to keep a level head and consider all the facts."


"You know what happens to pregnant interns. I'm not switching to vagina squad or spending my life popping zits. I'm too talented. Surgery is my life."


"Okay... That was my best supportive girlfriend and you kinda ruined it with medicine. But it's okay."


CRISTINA: "He's picturing my face. He is totally picturing that dart puncturing my skull. Wooo, look at that."
IZZIE: [to Meredith] "Derek... Derek is picturing you."
MEREDITH: "He called me a whore. He lost the right to picture me."
CRISTINA: "So I fall asleep during sex. So what? Ass!"
MEREDITH: "Ass!"


CRISTINA: "People! What's with all the evil misery, huh? Live and let live."
GEORGE: "You're cheerful."
IZZIE: "You are. How is that possible?"
CRISTINA: "I scrubbed in on a four-hour esophageal surgery last night, then I got laid. And now, three ambulances are coming in full of bloody, broken car crash victims, all who need to be cut open. So I'm cheery, I'm cheery, I am so cheery! Cheery! I'm cheerful!"


CRISTINA: "How do you keep your edge, sir? Because I've watched you and you've been doing this a long time and you're clean, you're focused, you are the job. Nothing gets to you. And the thing is sir, I was like that, until I got here. Until I actually started doing this job and now everything is... is fuzzy and-"
RICHARD: "That’s beside the point."
CRISTINA: "No, you see sir, this is the point. Because I can't tell you. I can't tell you what happened in that room. And before, I could have. No guilt, no loyalties, no problem. Before, before I wouldn't have even been in that room. I wouldn't have gotten involved. I would have never frozen in surgery. I would have told him what I thought he should do. I had an edge sir. I had an edge and I've lost it, and I need it. I need it back. So, if you could just tell me, how you keep yours and how not to be affected, I know I could be a great surgeon. So if you could just give me the answers, I would really appreciate it."
RICHARD: "You're excused, Dr. Yang."
CRISTINA: "But-"
RICHARD: "You're excused. Go."
CRISTINA: "I'll tell you, I'll tell you who cut the LVAT wires if you'll please-"
RICHARD: "No you won't, I don't wanna know. Not from you. Yeah, I have the answers, but I can't tell them to you. I'm not going to be responsible for you becoming less human."


PRESTON: "Dr. Yang, you're handling the saw."
CRISTINA: "You won't let me pick the wine, but this you'll let me do?"


"I'm so hot! I can do hot in my sleep! I can do hot in scrubs!"


CRISTINA: "I've already spent an hour picking bird parts out of this guy. I'm over it."
GEORGE: "Carpe diem."
MEREDITH: "Right, you and my forehead. I'm beginning to look how I feel. Carpe that."
GEORGE: "This is the luckiest day in the world!"
CRISTINA: "Tell that to the bird."


CRISTINA: "That's the Nazi?"
GEORGE: "I thought the Nazi would be a man."
MEREDITH: "I thought the Nazi would be... a Nazi."
IZZIE: "Maybe it's professional jealousy. Maybe she's brilliant and they call her a Nazi because they're jealous. Maybe she's nice."
CRISTINA: "Let me guess. You're the model."


ALEX: "Nice panties, Yang!"
CRISTINA: "In your dreams, Evil Spawn!"


MALE NURSE: "I'm telling your intern on you."
CRISINA: "Meredith?"
MALE NURSE: "Yeah."
CRISTINA: "Ooh, I'm so scared!"


CRISTINA: "Will you get me a latte?"
MOTHER: "A non-fat one?"
CRISTINA: "No, a FAT one!"


GEORGE: "I feel like the angel of death."
CRISTINA: "Bambi, quit whining. Ninety-nine percent of the people in the code team are seriously dead or dying before you even get there."
GEORGE: "Why didn't you tell me before when I was going on and on about how great it would be?"
CRISTINA: "Because you're George, and I'm Cristina."


"I need a drink, a man, or a massage. Or a drunken massage by a man."


ALEX: "My head hurts."
CRISTINA: "Maybe it's a tumor."
ALEX: "You wish I had a tumor."
CRISTINA: "I'd rip your face off if it meant I got to scrub in."


MIRANDA: "So, doctors, why aren't we attempting to reattach the severed penis?"
CRISTINA: "Because teeth don't slice, they tear. If she had wanted to chop it off, things might be different. Plus, the digestive juices didn't leave much of the flesh to work with."
MIRANDA: "So, how do we proceed?"
-"IfCRISTINA: "Sew him up... minus a large part of the family jewels." MIRANDA: "The outlook?"
MEREDITH: "He'll be urinating out of bag for a very long time."
CRISTINA: "Not to mention he'll never be able to have sex again."
MEREDITH: "Oh, too bad."
CRISTINA: "A shame."
MIRANDA: "Let's all take a moment to grieve."




"If I miss a real procedure because of this case, they're gonna call me 007, because I killed you."

-CRISTINA:CRISTINA: "We're in an elevator. That's your specialty, right? McDreamy moments in the elevator?"
DEREK: "Dr. Yang-"
CRISTINA: "You know what? For just a moment, I’m not Dr. Yang and you’re not Dr. Shepherd. You’re the guy who screwed up my friend. The guy who drove her to get a dog she can't keep, the dog she only got because her boyfriend lied to her about his wife."
DEREK: "I never lied to her."
CRISTINA: "Yes you are. You know, I know a liar when I see one because I am a liar."

-"George,"George, if you're sick of bad things happening to you, stop putting up with it and demand better."