03.04 What I Am |

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[Season 3, Episode 4: Originally aired October 12, 2006]

Recap of Events:

At some point during surgical residency, most interns get a sense of who they are as doctors and the kinds of surgeons they want to become. If you ask them, they'll tell you they want to be general surgeons, orthopaedic surgeons, neurosurgeons. Distinctions which do more than describe their area of expertise, they define who they are, because outside the operating room, not only do most surgeons have no idea who they are, they're also afraid to find out.

Dr. Mark Sloan joins the staff of the hospital, causing Addison to be preoccupied and doubting her abilities to make proper medical judgements. She is delivering the baby of a woman who wants a natural childbirth but the baby doesn't descend far enough. She has several failed attempts at convincing the woman to have a caesarean section, but the woman yells at her to leave the room, which she does. Dr. Bailey talks to her and says that no man, neither Derek nor Mark, defines Addison.
Burke is cleared for surgery by Derek, who is distracted by the presence of Mark in the hospital. Cristina is pushing Burke and hasn't realised that his hand is still shaking. When Burke practices on a cadaver she finally sees this, but comes up with a plan where Burke will get someone to hold items for him so that he can use his good left hand to steady his right hand.
A man who has just had a heart operation lights a cigarette while still using a nasal cannula for oxygen. He suffers severe burns to his face, which Mark treats after initially clashing with Derek over whether they should wait before proceeding with the surgery. Alex is assigned as Mark's intern but finds that it isn't as he expected, with Mark requesting a coffee. Mark also ignores Dr. Bailey, who was the man's original doctor.
Meredith has stomach pain, nausea and vomiting which, after Cristina bellowed her suspicion, leads the staff to believe she may be pregnant with Derek's child. Cristina nicknamed the supposed child "McBaby" after finally learning that Meredith has never had sex with Finn before. It turns out that she has appendicitis and needs surgery. While on morphine, she makes several inappropriate statements, including telling people that George is a good kisser, that Bailey is really pretty, telling Mark that his nickname is "McSteamy" and that she is now known as the "adulterous whore" instead of "dirty mistress". Addison talks to her and informs Meredith that she does not hate her. Meredith wonders when Addison knew that Derek was "the one". Addison replies that she never knew this, but did know that Derek would never intentionally hurt someone. Meredith notes that he did hurt Meredith, when he chose Addison over her.
Izzie meets with Dennison "Denny" Duquette, Sr., who wants to know about his son's death. At first, he's hostile, saying how suspicious it is that his son had survived for so long, only to die as a result of her medical decisions, shortly after proposing to her. He says she must have enormous med school loans and that she was just after Denny's money. She explains that she is debt-free and chews him out for not being there for his son. He explains that the reason he never visited Denny was that after he got sick, his prognosis had gotten worse and worse. In the end, Denny had left saying he didn't want them to have to watch him die. After Denny Duquette, Sr.'s fears are about Izzie are put to rest, he hands Izzie an envelope. Later that night, she used the code Denny Sr. gave her to access the last voice mail Denny Jr. left his parents right after his successful transplant surgery, inviting them down to Seattle to meet Izzie, the "beautiful, stubborn doctor", his new fiancee.
George admits to Callie he should have told her that he was not ready to move in together. In response she invites him to her hotel room that evening for dinner. But he says he has to go home to be there for Izzie when she listens to Denny Jr's last message and opens the envelope. He ends up opening the envelope out of curiosity while Izzie was transfixed on the voice message (or the voice) and finds a check from Denny Jr. to Izzie for $8.7 million. Callie complains that Meredith and Izzie always come first and asks what she is to him. When he doesn't answer, she tells him he won't have to worry about deciding anymore and breaks up with him. At the bar, Callie invites Mark up to her hotel room instead.
After Addison cautioned him not to hurt Meredith again, Derek took it the wrong way and thought that she meant he should be the bigger person and not let himself hurt her again. He seek Richard's advice, asking him why he left Ellis. He then spoke to Finn and realised Meredith told Finn a great many things about him, but he didn't even know Finn's a widower. He willingly walks away from Meredith in order to spare her from his further complicating her life, but his leaving finally gives Meredith the clarity and courage to take a leap of faith and choose Derek over Finn, even though, as Finn said, "He's going to hurt you, and when he does, I won't be here."

Denny: Dad, mom...It's me. I'm calling from Seattle Grace Hospital where the beautiful, talented and incredibly stubborn Dr. Isobel Stevens has, she's just given me a brand new heart and promised to marry me. I know we've had our differences and I'm sorry we've been out of touch. Believe it or not, I was trying to make everything better. I know you're angry and I hope you'll forgive me. It turns out, sometimes you have to do the wrong thing. Sometimes you have to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right. Mistakes are painful, but they're the only way to find out who you really are. I know who I am now. I know what I want. I've got the love of my life, a new heart and I want you guys to get on the next plane out here and meet my girl. Everything's gonna be different now, I promise. From here on out, Nothings ever going to be the same. I love you, bye.

Aha! Moments:


Title Reference:
This episode's title refers to "What I Am" by Edie Brickell and New Bohemians.



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